I have an autistic child with very high care needs. She’s also suspected ADHD but we’re really struggling to get a diagnosis. She has endless energy and is constantly on the go.
When we go out, she runs up and down, spins, shouts things out and stims constantly. This was manageable when she was younger, but she’s now 14 and it’s becoming much harder. We attract a lot of attention and, increasingly, negative comments. On Friday we had some particularly nasty remarks made about her stimming when we were out, and honestly it really knocked me. I try to ignore it, but it’s getting harder and it’s making me dread taking her out alone.
She never stands still. If I try to stop her running or calm her, she gets louder or goes faster. She’s now too fast and strong for me. I genuinely can’t keep up. She often runs off and I can’t catch her, and she won’t hold my hand. If I try to take her hand, she rips it away.
I’ve thought about using a wheelchair for safety, but I don’t drive and the idea of using a wheelchair on busy London buses makes me extremely anxious. Even though wheelchair users have priority, buses are always packed with prams and people, and the thought of dealing with that fills me with dread. I’ve also looked into using taxis so I could take her out more safely, but the cost would be far too much to do regularly.
I’m at the point where I don’t feel I can safely manage her on my own anymore. She does still go out during the week, she’s starting mentoring and they’ll be taking her out every weekday for around 2 hours, so she won’t be stuck at home. But I can’t cope with taking her out alone anymore. Realistically, she needs two adults when out, and she was 2:1 for school trips.
WIBU if I just stopped taking her out on my own because it’s too much for me to manage safely?
But It will mean her staying in on weekends and holidays. If I needed to do anything I could leave her with my teenage son as she is fine at home (but can’t be left by herself)