Life after divorce

[CoolPlayer]

What did life look like for you after divorce/long term split? Suddenly a weight lifted / very difficult. If anyone’s willing to share I’d be interested to know x

Difficult for the first four months. Very emotional, a lot of unanswered questions and self-doubt, uncertainty about the future. But little by little, everything fell into place and, seven months later, I am feeling grateful that it's finally over.

A massive weight was lifted. There was music in the house and dancing around the living room. Being a single parent and rebuilding a career was hard, and for quite a while I resented the life I had as it wasn’t what I wanted for myself. But I never missed him.

It was initially very difficult because I was completely blindsided while he'd been getting all his ducks in a row and feathering his new nest. Also he decided that attack was the best means of defence and behaved very badly. However, after the dust settled, I realised what a relief it was to be free of him, after more than three decades of tiptoeing round his moods, negotiating and advocating on behalf of my children. I revel in my life now. I can please myself about everything and don't need to consider the "needs" of a self-centred man. My children are a constant source of support and pride, as are a clutch of adorable grandchildren who have never met him. My children, being adults, chose to sever all links with their father. I didn't influence them in any way to do this

Thanks for the replies xx

Nerve wracking for the first week, then gradual dawning, then overwhelming relief.

• Not having to drive ex home so drunk that I'd often have to leave him in the car.
• Eating healthily
• Watching what I wanted on TV
• No criticism
• Being able to relax
• Listening to music and not have someone turn it off
• Not having my car and clothes damaged by spiteful ghastly step daughter.
• No stepdaughter trying to feed ds2 fizzy drinks and haribo.
• Waking up happy.

That was 2010. I've not regretted it yet.

And before anyone says how on earth did you end up with someone like that, I swear he wasn't. We'd been together years. He morphed when ds was 3 days old. The first night we were home from the maternity unit, ds woke up in the night, and ex actually KICKED me awake and said 'baby's crying" I felt like I'd fallen into a parallel existence.

Savour every second of your freedom. xx

Instant relief from walking on egg shells and that heavy feeling in my chest about what I was walking into when I went home from work. Work colleagues told me I was a different person after I left (obviously in a good way).
Being able to put my head on the pillow at night, knowing that I would be able to have a restful night and not have the worry of being woken up with abuse.
I was incredibly lonely for a good few months when I left as I had gone from my parents’ house to his when I married him and had no experience of living on my own. I lost mutual friends for quite a few years as I had kept everything that was going on to myself.
However, the peace and quiet in my life was amazing and I soon loved living on my own and doing as I pleased.

Financially very difficult - I was part time with no real career and he was a high flyer with a good salary. That had been really had and I now get by every month (back full time) - went from a 4 bed detached house to a 2 bed flat.

Emotionally - difficult for 12 months. He left without warning and has now taken up with a woman who is 15 years younger (I am 54).

Having said that I feel happier now as we lived in a sexless relationship for 10 years (His choice) - I have started dating again and have realised that it’s not me who was unfanciable. I’ve lost all my trust in men now though so casual flings will do me for now.

Kids are adults but still hit them hard.