Would you rather be too hot or too cold?

[luxurynuts]

Dh can’t stand having the heating on as he is constantly hot and hates being hot.
He thinks it’s ok for us to be cold because we can just put more on or put a blanket round us but there’s nothing he can do about being too hot.
AIBU or is he?
Bearing in mind we also have 3 children who are also cold and wrapped in layers and blankets while he sits in his shorts.

I think there needs to be some compromise.

In general, I agree with DH - if he is in shorts and a t shirt then either it’s not that cold (and I’m the cold frog in my relationship) or he needs to have some bloods taken/thyroid checked/is it a medication side effect?

It is easier for the cold person to layer up than the hot person to cool down.
You should make sure you wear thermal singlets/socks and be layered up - nothing more annoying than someone in a house upping the thermostat when they haven’t dressed appropriately. Are you moving/exercising enough to get the circulation going?

What temperature are you both wanting? When I’m home alone, I set it at 22 and I still feel cold. When DH is home it’s usually 18 (which is our compromise) and basically off overnight.

Too hot. I dont enjoy being hot and sweaty but being cold is far worse.

When it's bitterly cold your fingers and toes feel literally painful and it inhibits your entire body. Having a shower is awful because when you get out it makes you shiver (whereas in heat it's delightful and refreshing). Cold is far worse and it also prevents me from wanting to go outside for walks/runs which do me the world of good.

I think it's easier to wrap up than cool off however if he's in shorts and you're all ridiculously wrapped up that's quite an extreme difference in how you both feel the temp. You shouldn't need to be so wrapped up its uncomfortable in your own home. I think we need to know the temp in your house!

If I'm too cold I can bundle up a bit.

When I'm too hot I feel sick and dizzy and can't concentrate. My skin gets prickly and itchy and I start scratching. After a few hours I'll start puking and pass out. I also end up with a splitting headache.

My parents will turn down the heating when I visit and throw a jumper on. I deliberately wear shorts and a t shirt when I visit them to help mitigate it.

It depends on how cold he wants you to be though - I usually request they drop the temp to 21c from their usual 24c. I don't think they'd be happy if I was telling them to drop it to 18.

Generally I'm team too cold 'cos I agree with his sentiment - I prefer winter because at least once you're home you can whack on the heating and wrap up warm whereas in summer you escape the heat only to come back to your still too hot home.

However as others have said if he's in shorts and a t-shirt whilst you're all wrapped up warm he should see if there's some kind of problem. Also I think it's unfair the rest of you should have to adjust just because of him.

Rather be too cold , easier to wrap up.
extreme heat feels harder to deal with

Too cold cos you can always layer up - it’s far harder to cool down

Middle ground, surely? So long as you are wearing appropriate clothing.

I think if one person is different from everyone else, you go with the majority. I don't like being either too cold or too hot - both are uncomfortable. But I prefer a cosy house for my kids

In terms of health, it isn't good for the house or the humans to be too cold on an ongoing basis in winter, the heating should be set to a healthy temperature.

The needs of the children should be prioritised, so he's out of order.

Get him a cool pack.

It’s not really about preferring to be too hot or too cold. I would prefer to put a jumper on rather than the heating. But once I’ve done that, or if my children are in jumpers and still cold, I’ll put the heating on.

I HATE being too hot I get so stressed

Too cold, you can always put layers on. What's your DH supposed to do, strip off?

I lived in Australia for 11 years and the hot days are part of the reason I moved back to the UK, just too hot and I hated it.

There has to be compromise of course

@luxurynuts If you're too cold you can just put on layers and move more and do something active.

My DH gets warm so our house is kept at 19C as a compromise. I just wear lots of layers and make sure I get up and move round lots or do something physical if I start getting too cold.

I also have an oil filled radiator in my study so rather than turning the heating on, I can just use this if I'm working and get too cold.

I hate being too hot, it makes me feel ill and a bit panicky. But being very cold is miserable too.

What temperature is your house? If you're all wearing sensible winter clothes (layers, jumpers etc) and are still cold, he's the problem.

YANBU
I absolutely hate the cold. He’s not normal to not want the heating on in this weather and it’s not fair on the other four people.

This for me too. And I have a lung condition that is much easier to manage in the heat than the cold.
In this situation though, I think a compromise is needed. If everyone is wrapped up and miserable apart from your DH, op, then some middle ground needs to be found. What is the actual temperature of your house?

I'd rather be too cold

When I'm too hot i feel woozy and faint, I can't think and I'm irritable and impatient.

When I'm too cold I can move or put more clothes on

Could you keep one room cooler by turning the radiator thermostat to a minimum and the rest of the house a comfortable indoor temperature which for most people is 18°-21°C. Anything below 16°C would be unacceptable in an office or similar workplace.

Team cold! Especially as a peri woman!

I've always, always thought, it's far easier to get warm than to cool off.

Unless he is expecting you to sit in a house that's 10c, YABVVU

Too cold. I spent several years during perimenopause being horribly hot and red faced and sweaty all the time. I was always too hot. Now, post-menopause and after a significant weight loss I am freezing all the time. My fingers and toes go numb just walking round the fridge section in a supermarket! However I just pile multiple layers on and wrap up in blankets at home and so can make myself feel more comfortable than I did when I was hot!

Generally I'd prefer to be too cold because adding layers, exercising or hot drinks/foods deal with it, and its only a mild discomfort. Being too hot on the other hand makes me feel unwell and suffocated.
In your situation you need a compromise. Thermostat set to the recommended room temp. Cold people layer up, move about, use heated throws etc. Hot people wear light clothes, have cold drinks, use a fan if need be.

What is too hot? 😁 I can function happily in 35 degrees. But seriously, anything below 17 is no fun. I cannot work in the cold, I am miserable, uncomfortable and can't concentrate. In your situation, I'd heat one room (sitting room?) and he can go elsewhere.

Is your dh overweight? Perhaps he could try losing some of his 'insulation' instead of making his family miserable !

Too cold. I’m allergic to heat

I like to be warm but not boiling hot I dislike being sweaty so when heating goes on I put it on like 24 being cold you can at least layer up but I don't like being freezing