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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Teacher / Parent Communication

2 replies

Toastycheesey · 11/01/2026 10:26

I teach in a high school and this first week back had a few issues with a group of lads starting to act out over a number of lessons. Yesterday, after reminders, warnings, sanctions and no change, I rang home for four of them, to try to nip it in the bud.

It became apparent during three out of four conversations, that the kids themselves could hear what was being said and I'm wondering if this is now normal and how parents expect to deal with schools?

Obviously, I'm calling their house, where they live and will have just got in from school, so it's not as though the contact itself should be confidential, and they can probably hear the other side of the conversation. And clearly when it's parents' evening, they'll be invited to the appointment as it's about them and their learning.

I just didn't expect to have been put on loudspeaker for them to listen in while I thought I was explaining my concerns to an adult (including worrying changes in behaviour and questions about issues we might need to know about, as well as impact on others in the class).

Two turned out to have listened in, with one made to explain himself and apologise before the call ended, while the other had apparently heard and would take what I'd said on board. The other was a different scenario altogether where he interrupted and was allowed to argue in much the same way he has been disrespectful at school all week.

I suppose it at least makes a change from the ones where the parents say thanks for the info and they'll ask for their kid's 'side' of the story later on, or the ones who say they just don't know what to do.

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KnickerlessFlannel · 11/01/2026 10:29

I work in a different field but as so many people do answer the phone on loudspeaker or in the car, I always have a bit of a script for the beginning of my calls - do you have time and are you safe to speak, can you be overheard etc. Might be worth checking at the beginning going forwards.

Toastycheesey · 11/01/2026 10:42

@KnickerlessFlannel This sounds a good approach. I obviously have the script for letting them know I'm calling from school (not an urgent issue), what I teach if I've not met them yet, do they have a few minutes to discuss your child's behaviour...

I just, so far in years of teaching, haven't considered that I might be being broadcast wider than the person I'm addressing. And to a point, is it their choice and not actually mine?

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