DD14 has problems with people

[Mummabear888]

It’s quite a new thing say from last 6 months she tends to isolate herself a bit and she can be quite lonely.
i have noticed she will only have sleepovers with certain people and when she does it has to be very much her way - she won’t have sleepovers with 2 friends because she says they annoy her , another friend she says talks to much etc
she want like this before and I’m just worried as she is now spending a lot of time on her own - she has cut a lot of people off and invited have stopped etc 11-13 she had a lot of friends seemed to tolerate more and would always be asking to go here there and everywhere, now she doesn’t tend to do that.
she do’s tend to like one on one friends - I’m just really worried about her. Even boys she tends to cut them
off and then gets really jealous when they like another girl after.

Is this Normal
I worry as I’m a single mum with little family - I worry she is isolated anyway

You’ve stated very early on that she’s lonely. Is she really lonely? Or is that just your opinion and perception? To me from what you’ve written, she’s growing up…she’s learning about life and people. She’s choosing who to be with and leaving those that she doesn’t gel with anymore. She’s working out that she prefers one to one friendships rather than perhaps meaningless groups? The boy situation I’d say is very normal, again she’s just working through how she feels about boys in general I’d say.

my now adult kids went through a lot of changes at this age. They were leaving behind “primary friends” and make different pathways with other people and friends from high school. They were working out what was for them and what was not.

I don’t think she does feel lonely - but my worry is that she is and isolates herself, which she then does get upset when she misses out on things

Is she anxious about groups of friends?

it is fine to see just one friend at a time if that is what she likes.

I think it's normal that friendships thin over time. She's maturing and realizing, as we all hopefully do, that some friendships enrich and some drain. Sounds normal to me and healthy. Her not liking boys because they fancy someone else is just normal teenage girl stuff!

I wouldn't mention to her you worry she's lonely because you are a single mum. I grew up with a single mum and that sort of things always felt heavy as a teenager. All she's known is you and her so it's not like she misses a different life.