to want to hear from single mums (current or previous)

[singlemummmm]

Does it get better anytime soon? Seriously?

My son is the light of my life but I miss having a life. I am 26, he is 3. I miss having sparetime, I miss good sleep, I miss dating. I think God no one would ever be with a young single mum. Any positive stories in this regard? Do those men (good ones) exist?

My mum has him 1 day a week, that does help. But I feel so terribly alone doing all this by myself.

Why aren’t you having a life ?
I raised three boys alone . I still made time to see friends for a night out etc. I always worked .
I had hobbies .

There is no reason you can’t do things for yourself , especially if you have your mum helping you.
Sounds more like you are stuck in a rut and need to make some changes.

I'm the exact situation. It's hard and you need to make sure you get time for you whenever you can... I have had to lower my standards with cleaning and things like that. I have to go out every day because parenting is so much easier out.

I have dated men who were fine with me being a single mum -honestly there are loads out there who don't judge us like we think they will, there are good men but the bad ones get all the air time, there is hope in that regard and you're really young.
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I raised my 3 girls under 8 at the time for 7 years on my own until I introduced them to my now DH and he moved in. You can do this! You can date you just have to be more cautious. Find some ‘you’ time don’t let resentment set in. There’s lots of other single mums out there. I also started playing rugby and training once a week met some seriously good friends and the sport has really helped me mentally focus.

youll be great as I’m sure you already are x

The days are long but the years are short. I remember being jealous of my friends that had a life while I was sat in watching the soaps. Now mine are teens and I have some independence again. You will get there.

I had my son when I was 20 and single. I’ve been with my now for 11 years, my son is 23.

Can’t even fathom having 3 kids like some of you! Honestly you have my deepest respect!

When I make plans with friends I sometimes have had such a rough few days or morning with the little one that I end up canceling because I have to recalibrate and my mind isn’t right. Also always have to go bed early as if I don’t, I will be wrecked the next day as my sons sleep is and always has been very poor. I just feel like a mom at all times, not an individual.

i have had a few crushes (potentially reciprocated) and some days long for partnership but don’t entertain it as I’m scared of rejection due to being a single mum

basically I am trying to find myself with no time to find myself 😂 hope others can relate and have had positive outcomes.

I say this with kindness....I think it's your mindset. You feel that you're stuck and that it's all too hard. My two are now 17 and 15 y.o. and I've raised them alone since the youngest was 2. Total acceptance is your answer. Accept where you are and your situation and then set about making it as peaceful as possible for both you and your son. There are a lot of positives about being a single mum. I found being 'everything' hard, but now that they're almost grown, it's so so much easier. Hang in there, I'm sure you're doing a great job.

I was a lone parent for 15 years. Early years are the hardest as I worked full time too. I co-slept with DD for first few years as sleep was so important. In fairness I put her and my career first so didn’t start dating until she was around 7. By that point I was so comfortable in my own company I didn’t compromise on the relationship front until the absolute right one came along. Even then we have lived in different houses until the DC were the right age. His DS at Uni and my DD off to sixth form. Just bought a house together.

Co-sleep, try and see close friends and family, focus on work. Take a flask of tea for those hours of relentless park time. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Embrace the time when they are in bed and you have lone time. Find a club on a Saturday they love once they hit 4/5 so you get some time, even if it’s just for a coffee.