Was this unacceptable behaviour with my DD?

[AliceAbsolum]

Went outside with DD, 3, for a bit, playing imaginary bear hunt. She was appropriately dressed for the weather. Moaned, winged and shouted. So I took her to soft play, she wouldn't play, kept saying she was bored, yet screamed the place down when we left. Refused to walk to the car, etc etc.
When we got home she continued to shout at me because I put her snack on a plate and not in a bag!
I then said "right I've had enough" and under my breath I said "you are not nice to be around", she would not have heard this due to her screaming. I walked away from her, closed the door to the bedroom and breathed deeply. Que more screaming. She followed me up stairs and then I felt guilty and we repaired.

I can't be this saint who manages this all the time! Pretty sure I used to have a life that didn't involve horrible indoor soft play and being shouted at all day.

How do people manage to not get frustrated?

OK. I'm willing to change my opinions. I'll ask her to say sorry next time. You have valid points.

You know you can be firm with children and they’ll still love you. I sometimes think some parents won’t challenge as they’re scared. So what if your child feels sad if they’re told off, they’re meant to if it was fair.

So you tried to please her all day, she was acting like a little brat and you said she's not nice to be around but then apologised with no apologies from her.
Good luck in 10 years times with that one....
In real life she can't expect to act like that until whoever she is with snaps and tells her off and then she'll be sitting there waiting for an apology. She won't get one, she'll be expected to apologise for behaving badly.

Don't you see what kind of person she will turn into? Doing what she wants, behaving like a brat all day getting what she wants and not being held accountable for her behaviour, no one else is going to apologise to her.

You are her mother, she needs to respect and love you, that doesn't come from pussyfooting around her apologising for saying something that was true and not doing anything about her behaviour.

I'm not generally a push over! If she breaks something she clears it up, if I say I'm leaving the park, we leave etc.

My DD, now 23, enjoys teasing me about being a violent parent because I told her that once only did I break my own no smacking rule and tap her on the legs as a toddler when she just wouldn't shut up in the car. The point is that she has no memory of this happening. Your DD will not either. We all have our limits. We don't want our children to think we are automata.

I don't think we should apologise for responding to their poor behaviour with frustration and a telling off, otherwise you're giving mixed messages. They think, mummy said sorry so she was the one in the wrong not me. They're not as developed as adults, we can see when two people have behaved poorly during an argument and see that both need to apologise. 3 year olds are very black and white and see only 1 person as being wrong. If you apologise you're telling her you were the one in the wrong, not her.

Why would that not be fine? She’s a child… children are often arseholes