Ex wont return a phone I bought

[PunnyOliveMentor]

I share two children to this horrible man and our relationship was always toxic.
We have been separated for about 7 years and even when we were together it was very on and off.

He was physically, mentally and verbally abusive which lots of things were reported.

He has always tried to make my life difficult ever since. I have been with my current partner for almost 5 years and we share a son together and have another on the way. My ex has been with his partner around a year and I thought this might mellow him but hey ho he's still the same.

I bought a phone for my son to play games on a while ago but months ago when he went to his dad's he took it in his bag. Ever since ive been asking for it back and his dad refuses. He did call me last week and said I could have it back if I sign a form for him to get put on one of our children's birth certificates (he isnt on it because he wasn't interested when he was born)
I refused because there was no way I was going to meet up with him.

When I collected the kids yesterday I asked my son where the phone was and he said his dad said he couldn't have it. I knocked on the door to ask for it and he just shut the door in my face.

Im just sick of all the crap from him really. I spoke to 101 and asked if there was anything they can do and they are going to come and speak to me next week. AIBU?

@OneFunBiscuit child neglect. And the police dropped it. I was never charged but they took forever to do their 'investigations' it was horrible. And it was my ex who dictated 2 days a week. Refused to allow them to come to my parents home so I could spend time with them supervised. Only allowed contact with the social worker present which was difficult because he often cancelled and changed the plans. This was until he decided the social worker couldnt be trusted because she saw through him

This all sounds very toxic. Can you not get a third party to facilitate him seeing the children.

Of course he did! Talk about misogynistic behaviour. A single Mum can’t report a crime because her children are in her care lol. Seems really fair…not.

Did you put parental controls on the phone? Hopefully then you can block it's use.
If not all you can do is ask formally for the return of your property. I'd do on writing ie an email

This

No they were removed from my care because of the police bail conditions. I couldnt have any unsupervised contact with any children. And I couldn't stay overnight in a house with any children. The social worker tried speaking with the police to get the bail conditions removed as she thought it was ridiculous and that there was no need for the conditions. My two boys with my ex are 6 and 5.
I couldnt have my two year old either.

You have to let this one go, he's thriving on the attention you're giving it.

It's not right he's kept your sons phone. But you have to stop in interacting with him other than anything to do with the kids.

Ignore the idiot, if they're very young then you've got a long time of this, and it will grind you down.

If the phone is with a provider you can get the EMEI number blocked so the handset can’t be used. Either way I would report it as theft.

You’ve been separated from him for 7 years but your kids are 5 and 6?

That makes no sense, does it?!

@OneFunBiscuit well if the accusation is child neglect then that's a potential offence towards a child so hence the no unsupervised contact with children. Obviously they dropped the charges. The children were never removed from me. I couldnt have them unsupervised. The two were already at their dads. My youngest was at my parents when I got arrested as we were having a birthday party for my niece and nephew.
He made allegations that weren't substantiated and therefore it was dropped. If there was compelling evidence then we would have been charged which was not the case. And yes I am still with my partner. And as I stated already the social worker did an assessment and she stated she has no concerns which was passed on to the police.
He is malicious. Always has and always will be. When my youngest son was born he hated it. And reported us to social services then because he said my partner was a risk to the children. They did their assessments and were happy with us and the children. Everyone has vouched for us. School, social services, health visitor. All the professionals involved know exactly what he is like so now he refuses to engage with them. And because of his behaviour towards me he now has to have a risk assessment!

I just don’t think he’s ever going to give it back. You could go with the police and he could say it’s fallen down the toilet or it was stolen when he was taking the children on the bus to the zoo. The police aren’t going to search his property for it.

I just don’t think this is a battle you can win.

Wow. You should ask for a meeting with social work and tell them about his behaviour and how it's effecting all of you and ask whether they can refer him to something?
I know the phones been stolen and out of principle you would want it back but have you considered letting it go for peace sake. Your son doesn't need the phone if it doesn't have a sim card and is only being used for games. I know you shouldn't be in this position and shouldn't have to do that.

super star

Op, is the phone linked to your Google account or similar?

Why are all the replies and comments being removed reported and deleted?

Probs too much judgement

@WOLINM wdym?

Separated from your ex for nearly 7 years yet your boys with him are 6 and 5 🤔