To be shocked at kids party prices

[4babiesforever]

almost 4 year old has been getting invited to birthdays parties at nursery and from a club he goes to over the past year and a bit and has now asked for a birthday party of his own this this year.
AIBU to be shocked how much it seems to plan a birthday party for kids or should I have expected this?!

• will be inviting up to 30 kids (nursery class, some pals from club, and lots of cousins lol). cant fit that in our house and I thought th cheapest option would be to hire a community hall as DS would like a bouncy castle. he would like a theme and I’m thinking I could make a lot of the decorations from cardboard, a friend has offered to dress up lol, but even so adding up the cost of hall hire, bouncy castle, and food it all adds up. I’ve been trying to think of an activity that could double up as party favour to take home for example painting themed plaster cast models (I’ve seen kits that have several peices), and making themed cookies to take home (or price of the cake) or books from works etc but still adds up (and I’m planning in a way do I don’t even have to spend on an actual ‘gift bag’) I will provide food for adults as my family would have to travel. everyone I try and cost everything up it comes up to £300/400 - is this normal?
  or does anyone have any good tips? AIBU to be so clueless about this all or to ask for advice please oh ps - theme is ocean animals Tia x

Go for a 2-4pm time slot- then you just need to provide a few nibbles to keep the kids happy and not a full meal

Ime this doesn't work. Parents hate it because they get back a hyper 5 year old at 4pm who's filled up on nibbles and refuses dinner then insists they are hungry at 8pm

2 hours is also too long to fill without a meal and 1 hour in you have four and five year olds loudly asking when the party tea is, because they will be expecting one, uk kids parties are such a predictable format they are conditioned from a very young age to expect one - 1hr activities, then sit down to party tea, cake/candles & singing HB. Get them picked up after 1hr 40 to save your sanity.

Cheap food options:

Take a big tray of cheap finger buns and a Dutch oven/slow cooker full of sausages & do hot dogs. Chuck out a few bowls of cheap crisps and plates of sliced cucumber. Don't bother buying plates just put napkins on paper table cloth and then bin the lot.

You can get very very cheap basic cupcakes or doughnuts from all the big supermarkets to put out after it & do big jugs of cheap squash.

Don't waste money on posh decorations or foil balloons. Just blow up like 100 basic ordinary balloons. V cheap

Helium balloons make great alternatives to party bags.

£120 for soft play. Plus food, plus party bags (over ten years ago now)

Back then, soft play was cheaper than other parties and more manageable as a single parent. So glad that stage is over!

Supermarket pizza and crisps went down well.

For those numbers I’d book an entertainer like a magician as one bouncy castle won’t be enough to entertain 30 children for 2 hours!

I’d keep the party to 1.5 hours for friends.

15 mins arrival and running around
60 mins magic show
15 mins eating then go home.

(Do food in picnic boxes so they can take home if preferred. Bring out party bags to signal its home time. Don’t buy the books from The Works - they are rubbish stories and the kids just want sweets and tat)

Then tell family they can stay around at the end for adult food.

Find out if there are any children with birthdays around the same time and half the costs with another parent. This works well. You can get away with a bouncy castle. Often village halls have some things anyway, and often they’re happy running around and then playing pass the parcel and music statues. Eating takes a bit of time anyway. Do the party for 1.5 hours instead of two? Good idea about decorating rich tea biscuits for a party bag. Could have a crafts table with paper and pens, and a table with hair bobbles etc. I had these at a party but not well used as they just wanted to run abound!

My dcs both have summer birthdays and always did joint parties with their respective friends. My dd once joined up with 4 others for an all class party in a village hall with a big field next to it so we went all out with bouncy castles etc and invited all the parents along for a drink too. It still only cost just over £100 each (we made it clear not to bring presents for each child).

Age 4 we just had about ten nursery friends at soft play. A big party can be a bit overwhelming at this age. No one expects parents of local kids to be fed but I take the point that visiting relatives might appreciate foods.

Maybe you could do a smaller party in a smaller venue? Say 15 kids, no longer than 90 mins say 11am to 12.30pm. Kids eat at the end, you cut the cake and hand out party bags, local kids leave but family stays an extra hour at the venue and let the cousins play whilst your family eats (venues often have a kitchen so you could heat up some curries or whatever - once we took our own air fryer!)

The night before, I always make two big batches fairy cakes - one vanilla and one chocolate - then ice them the morning of the party and decorate them prettily and with different toppers.

Also If you are going to make sandwiches for the kids don’t underestimate how time consuming it is! Usually I’m up at 6am getting everything ready.

I would say see if you can borrow some big plastic or foil serving plates - they are very useful and expensive to buy.

Apologies, haven't RTFT but my party wisdom (some of it learnt the hard way 🤣):

• if expecting parents to stay, provide tea and biscuit, and that's all

• for a village hall party you need some child-free adults (sensible teenage cousins might work) to collect plates/supervise the bouncy castle/wash cups etc

• kids' party food - I've said it before and I'll say it again: kids under the age of 5 are only there for the wotsits. Add a few sandwiches by all means but they run entirely on crisps at that age. Don't waste your money on loads of fruit as they won't eat half of it but wil snot over what they don't eat.

• party bags - contrary to popular belief, IME small kids don't need party bags and hey won't notice if they don't get them. A slice of cake in a napkin is good though, and they can either eat it there or take it home.

Oh ok so some good ideas I will take on for sure - tea/coffee and biscuits for the parents (and invite my family to stay longer and feed them more after)
I’ll think of more snacky things that the kids will eat and not to over do sandwiches lol

• I don’t think I’ll do afternoon though as my LO and I know others who say their kids get more grump etc and avoid afternoon activities etc but could do like 10-11-30? Dunno will think more on that.
• Will invite less from nursery - I do know that there are 5 in particular that DD talks about and plays with a lot - but he has already been invited to and attended a few parties so shouldn’t I invite those kids?
• there is also a mum I know who has a kid with disabilities and she has mentioned her kid has never been invited to anything so I would like to invite him

I will include bouncy castle - we did tell our LO he has choice of gift to unwrap or party and he said he doesn’t want even a little gift all he wants is a party and a bouncy castle! we don’t need to pay an entertainer as I say my friend offered to dress up and all she wants is cake lol.

so I think I can bring the invites to 15-18 with out excluding certain people?

as I say in further won’t invite all cousins as the ages won’t always fit within activities and as some of them are getting older they do parties with just their same age friends etc (but we will still see each other lots as family)
but just as this is DS first party do want something than can cater to them.

Oh I won’t be doing party bags but I am trying to think of something to give them as a thank you but haven’t figured out what yet -but rather than spending the money on the bag and contents spending on one thing that might get used more if that make sense

I think that sounds good value; about £10 to £12 per child.

A full class party with an entertainer in a hall with an entertainer, food and party bags cost between £400 and £500 around here!

Activity type ones (after reception) always seem to be set for 10 kids and are slightly more reasonable at around £350-£400 (both party bags usually included at least!)

Some are even more expensive! A pamper party comes in at around £500 for 6 kids with additional extras that can be added on to that!

Whole class party are always a bit shit ime. We went for smaller house parties, or the park if the weather was alright or a small group activity, then back to hours for pizza and games.

That's a lot of money, but the norm these days I'm afraid 😬

Some tips:

At risk of sounding old-fashioned, do try to but any thoughts of 'competing' or 'keeping up' with other parents out of your mind. Do it all yourself!

As PP has said, invite no more than 6-10 children. Self-cater with the usual healthy dips, sandwiches, crisps, plus supermarket birthday cake etc.

Activities - cheap and cheerful. For a sea/ocean theme, you might want to try something like https://www.scouts.org.uk/activities/flapping-fish/

Children can make their own fishes/whales/starfish as part of the activity, play the game, and then take their creations home with them.

Then the usual, pass the parcel, musical chairs, etc. Four year olds will neither know nor care that it's a £2.50 per head tea and not a £400 event.

Party bag - cake, a hand-written 'thank you' card for the guest and, if the budget allows, a small book - these are great and under £10 for 24 - three each!

https://www.amazon.co.uk/TWIDDLERS-Pack-Colouring-Activity-Books/dp/B0BS9VYB48/

If you do want to spend a bit more on a paid-for event then just limit this to cousins and you can explain that it's 'family only'.

Personally after trying loads of things including books we just went with edible in the end for most parties - sweetie cones or similar. Probably better for 5+ though.

id do colouring books and crayons or something like that. Bag of party rings or haribo , job done.

Please don’t take this the wrong way but they’re 3/4 and it’s just been Christmas. There’s nothing you can hand out after a party that will be useful or treasured forever. The books we’ve been given at this age are usually pulp worthy. Give them some cake and bubbles to take home. At least that’s a bit of fun and the plastic packaging goes into recycling.

That sounds about right. We've never done parties like that as we can't afford them and in my experience there will be a couple of whole class parties in reception/year 1 and then nothing.

When our dc have birthdays they choose a film to watch and dinner of their choice.

Please reconsider the party bags. I know it sounds grabby and they are usually full of tat but kids love a party bag. Sweets/lolly/chocolate bag and cake are always a winner and an extra ‘something’, for this age you can pick up pencils/rubbers/stickers/bag of plastic fidget toy toys/bouncy balls etc for cheap. Also giving out party bags is one of the things that my kids loved doing at their parties too, and signifies party is over!

I would agree not to invite cousins etc once the kids get older. They tend to get a bit sidelined as the school friends don’t know them.

and yes I would suggest to invite the children who have invited your child to their party, it’s quite rude (imo) not to.

it will be easier when they have started to make more secure friends at school as you can just do something with a select group. However probs best to note now that if you book climbing/trampolining/soft play parties there is usually a 10 children minimum clause.

400 for 30 kids sounds good

Wacky Warehouse…£10 per child including food and you don’t have to do anything 🙌🏻

I wouldn't skip on the party bags tbh. I think my kids (6&8) have only ever been to one party ever without a party bag or some equivalent, and so I think it's pretty much expected now, even if they don't have much in then at all.

We’ve just done a smaller party of 10 cinema on sat morning cheap at £3.50 per head followed by kids meal at Nando’s
but with snacks and table games/ crafts still cost £250 plus

only way to keep cost and workload low is cheap supermarket cake and simple goody bags

when we did party in a hall we had bouncy castle (get one with a slide as it reduced accidents as it increased a flow system iykwim)

and had crafting activity which doubled up as goody bag

cheapest party ( girls ) was at our house
( drop off no parent catering or pressure of their eyes on you !) decorating their own bag that we put bits in for going home
pass the parcel And frozen pizza

Until the eldest was about 10, dd always invited the whole class, so it did come expensive, though a nearby church hall was extremely reasonable to hire, and there were masses of toys for younger ones to play with.

I also used to invite the whole class when dds were younger - dd1 in particular wouldn’t leave anyone out. And although dd is well into her 40s now, I still remember the little boy who said, ‘Thank you for inviting me to your party. Nobody else does.’ 😰
I still think about him - they were around 8 at the time.

@GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER

just sometimes things like that mean the world, and that’s why I want to invite everyone for as long as I can

I want my children to include rather than exclude as much as possible

be the change you want to see and all

The parties where too many kids I.e whole class were carnage at nursery/ primary school. Parents where I were used these to show off to each other hiring fire engines or having entertainers etc. Their birthday kid was often overwhelmed You might think you are doing a nice thing not leaving anyone out but the sheer noise in a room plus adults can be overwhelming. I found smaller group parties 10-15 or smaller seemed perfectly lovely and didn’t come with all the expense.