To think this can’t be normal?

[stillawakeagain1]

Sorry if this makes no sense I havent slept properly in weeks and my head feels fuzzy.

My baby will NOT sleep unless hes being held or moving and I’m honestly at breaking point now. I know babies wake a lot but this feels constant and I dont know if I’m just being dramatic because I’m exhausted or if something is actually wrong.

Hes 10 weeks old, really refluxy, cries most of the time hes awake and will not settle in the cot at all. The second I put him down hes screaming again. He sleeps in the pram or if I’m holding him but obviously I cant do that all night every night.

I’m running on about an hour here and there and its starting to feel unsafe because I’m so tired. HV says reflux and “normal newborn stuff” but this doesnt feel normal to me anymore?

AIBU to think this cant just be how it is? Or do I need to push more because I dont know how much longer I can cope like this.

Please be honest but kind I’m really struggling today.

Newborns cry.

Mine was a little angel in the hospital and at home the first night. Babies can’t deal with gas and they get reflux so they are in pain.

My child’s GP refused to prescribe anything for the reflux so we gave him all of his formula sitting up.

Do you have a partner?

You know it’s ok to put your baby in their for while you have a shower?

I did this and usually the crying would stop.

Go back to your GP, in fact can you request a different GP? They can give you anti reflux medication for your baby. I actually don't think this level of discomfort is normal and I think some responses are wrong about that. My first baby had it really bad as well and it's desperate for you, I feel you. My second baby was bad but nowhere near the first. Please get anti reflux medication and I would go with co-sleeping. Do all the reading about it, prepare and then get some sleep.

Get a baby swing. Infacol too. Game changer.

Look at the lullaby trust info on bed sharing
It might be worth trying to cut out dairy from your diet, if baby has an allergy to dairy it can cause reflux
Have you accessed any feeding support locally? Using a more upright hold such as a laid back or koala position for breastfeeding can help refluxy babies

I’m afraid I held mine all night and for all naps until at least 4 months. She would never be put down without screaming. She still sleeps with me at nearly 2. Once I accepted it and made it safe and prioritised getting some sleep myself over trying to obey the rules and force her into her cot it was actually fine - very bonding.

Perfectly normal baby … not a normal 4 yr old though ! I’d focus on sorting your older child out - shoud be in bed before 10pm - and he’s sleeping downstairs too ? You’re heading for a whole load of problems if you carry on letting him behave like this .

I think this sounds quite extreme - could you ask doc to try bay Gaviscon? Have you tried Infacol? If they like being moved what about a Rockit rocking the pram for you? Or one of those things that make the cot vibrate?

Sleep deprivation is the worst. Do you have a friend or parent who can push the pram for an hour or two while you nap? Good luck

Its such a hard phase. My first didnt like to sleep unless in my arms. They are so used to being close its hard for them to adjust (and even harder on us). My husband got really confused with our 2nd as he wasn't use to seeing a baby sleeping in a cot! One thing that helped for us was a cheap disco ball by the bed. I would put it on and she watched it, sometimes it bought me 10 more mins. Once when I was no longer safe I put her down with the disco ball on and woke an hour later, she had finally nodded off

Couldn’t just read and run. I completely sympathise, it is absolute torture running on so little sleep.
Have you got any family to help you out? My Mum used to come over on Saturdays and took baby, I went upstairs and got 2 hours sleep. I felt like a new person! I remember in the trenches of the early hours thinking ‘okay, it’s Tuesday today, I am guarenteed some sleep on Saturday’. It saved me! My aunt did every other Friday and I did similar. There’s no guilt about coming across as rude - they were there for baby so box ticked!
I would potentially try swapping roles for a few nights - does baby take a bottle? It sounds like your eldest needs some ‘training’ for nights without Dad, the first few nights would be tough but could be worth it?
I never co slept, I had exactly the same worries as you. By 15ish weeks my baby was doing 1-2hour stints in her next-to-me, not ideal but so much better than held all the time - start with a bassinet or crib with movement if yours does that, and have a really firm hand on them so they know you’re there. I regularly had an arm curled into the next-to-me which was incredibly awkward but it did mean baby would slowly settle!
The best advice I’ve had is ‘every point is a phase, it will pass’. I say this sat on the landing floor with a bow-3yo giving me murder screams because she doesn’t want to go to bed - another phase!!!!?

Is the 4yo ND?
my 2 were both like this and eldest is ND asd and adhd.
Reflux can be from food allergy so could be soya or milk

.My DD would not sleep unless held during the night and when put in her cot would start crying. She would sleep through an earthquake during the day This went on for about 4 months and then gradually it would improve. It is hard though. Although easier said than done, try and grab what sleep you can when they sleep.

Another vote for possible dairy intolerance! How are his nappies?

I had a similar experience and I really feel for you. It was incredibly hard. DS is now 2 and he is still a strong character, being very good at communicating his needs! We cosleep and the first few months he would only sleep on me. Look up safe ‘chest sleeping’ as an option. A few chiropractor (think it was craniosacral) sessions helped, but that’s not for everyone!

Been here and survived!! My son from 2 weeks screamed his head off I thought I was useless and really struggled with the lack of sleep. I tried infacol for reflux and kept his head lifted. Someone suggested something like a yellow pages over a blanket. I promise it will get easier just hang in there. Do you have family you can lean on for support? Sending hugs to you.

I had this with my DD who is now 13 and so far a lovely teenager.

She did have reflux but I was also EBF and at 12 weeks I couldn’t take any more and put her on the bottle with formula. She was like a different baby when this happened!

I wouldn't say it was normal. My youngest (of 3) was like this. When they were 2 we discovered they were gluten intolerant. I suspect it was that as I was BF and eating gluten. Things settled as we switched to FF and then got worse again when more solid food, including gluten, was introduced.

If you are as desperate as I know I was then, maybe try excluding gluten for a week. If that doesn't work try excluding dairy for a week. That's not long enough to do any harm to you but would be enough time to see if it made a difference.

Hang on in there. Things will get better.

My son is 8 months now but I went through a nightmare phase when he was a newborn. He’d cry every minute of being awake because he was tired, but would only nap 30 minutes and would wake 8 time a night.

He would sleep sometimes though. He would sleep an hour next to me (co slept for survival) and wake then wake up approx Every hour.

Are you saying the baby simply will not sleep? Because that’s not normal. Or is it frequent wake ups?

My baby was low weight and woke to feed frequently. It improved as he got older (bigger!) also breastfed. How is your DS weight?