Lost keepsake - any advice please?

[Tikitaka20]

A really close friend passed unexpectedly a few months ago and I have the order of service from their funeral, with some photos, in my room as a keepsake. It’s quite important to me.

I’ve kept it on top of a radiator ever since I got it and I noticed in the middle of last week - maybe Thursday - that it wasn’t in its usual place. I’m 100% sure I didn’t move it, as I never do, and my housemates have all been away since Christmas.

We have a cleaner who comes every Wednesday, so I’m wondering if she may have put it somewhere? I’ve looked everywhere in my room though and can’t find it anywhere. Ive had a really good look under and behind the radiator especially.

I’m normally in when our cleaner comes, just because I tend to WFH on that day, but I was in the office when she came this week. I’m really not sure how to ask her about this though, as she’s lovely and I just don’t think she would have done anything with it as why would she? I don’t want to damage our relationship or for her to think I’m suspecting her of anything.

Not being able to find the order of service has upset me quite a bit, as it’s really special to me. I just also don't understand where it could have gone. Should I ask my housemates if they can help me look? Should I just ask my family/friends if they have a spare order of service and not bother asking the cleaner?

Thanks.

Have you checked your paper recycling? She might've seen it at a glance and thought it was junk mail or something

Unfortunately the recycling is long gone, but the order of service sits underneath a photo of my friend on my radiator, it very clearly looks like an order of service and it’s sat there for months without being disturbed, so I don’t understand why she would suddenly think it was recycling now.

Presumably it hasn't gone behind the radiator or anything like that?

Any tips for how I can look better behind my radiator? It’s fixed to the wall underneath a mirror. I’m pretty sure the order of service isn’t there, but would be good to look again thoroughly for further peace of mind.

I mean, just ask the cleaner? You aren't going to upset her and if she did move it, mystery solved.

"Hey, did you see the order of service I had sitting on my radiator?"

Easy. And definately ask your housemates as well if they've seen it as well.

Thanks. Yeah I will ask. I’ve had another good look behind the radiator and it’s definitely not there. I just feel quite upset because there’s no reason for her to put it anywhere else, so she’s probably thrown it away. Obviously I’m jumping to conclusions here, but I’m just at a complete loss as to where it could be.

I hope she hasn't thrown it away, but if she has could you contact the venue of the service or the funeral directors and see if any have been left over? Long shot maybe but not impossible. I appreciate the photos of your friend may be irreplaceable but you might be able to get another order of service.

The cleaner may either have moved it to dust the radiator or in case the heat from the radiator damaged the photo. Definitely ask her.

Thanks all.

Just for clarity, it’s only the order of service that I can’t find (it’s made of card, with photos printed inside). I normally keep the order of service under a framed photo, which is still in its usual place. I’ll ask her and see what she says.

I’ve just cried as it feels doubly shit if it’s lost, because it feels like losing my friend a second time in a way. I’m sorry if this sounds melodramatic. I just really want him back. I’m sure all my friends do.

Re asking the cleaner - don’t overthink this! You are not going to damage any relationship by asking a simple question. Just ask plain and simply. “Hi cleaner, I keep some photos and a funeral service booklet on my radiator and cannot find them anywhere, I’ve looked everywhere I can think of, I don’t suppose you saw them when you were here last week?”
Failing that, you could try asking the funeral company about getting another copy. They may well still have the file it was printed from and be able to run out another copy for a small fee (or free if they are super kind).

To add, from what you’ve described it does seem likely it’s slipped into or behind the radiator!

I thought that too, but I’ve looked behind and under the radiator pretty thoroughly about three times now and can’t find it at all.

Hope you find it