Friendship drifting

[Bluejeansrose78]

Feeling a bit hurt by my friend. We’ve been friends for two years now and got really close last year, but recently I’ve noticed that we’ve been drifting.

She always takes a while to reply to messages (she is autistic, so I do factor this in with her response times), but she used to reply frequently enough for it not to bother me.

However, in the past few months or so, she’s started taking a week or even two weeks to reply to my messages. I wouldn’t mind so much, but sometimes she’ll reply saying that she’ll respond properly later, and then she never does.

It annoys me because she still interacts with me on Instagram/TikTok by sending reels or liking my stories, but she just doesn’t reply to the actual messages I send.

Recently, she started working at the same company as me, and we even talk now and then on Teams (we’re in different departments, so this doesn’t happen that often), but she does reply there.

When she does reply and I offer to meet up for a coffee or a drink, she then doesn’t answer again for a week or so. I’ve also asked her if she wants to do things after work, and she doesn’t really reply to that either.

Do I accept that the friendship is pretty much done and stop messaging her so much?

If you want timely responses to your messages, and want to message regularly, and want to meet up and do things, and she’s not able to do this stuff with any regularity, then your choices are

1. keep trying to forge a friendship on your terms and feeling disappointed
2. meet her where she’s at, accepting that the friendship may not develop into something very close
3. stop bothering

What you don’t need to do is take it personally and feel aggrieved or rejected. Total waste of your energy.

Two years isn't very long and I'm afraid she's just not that into you. Sorry. If people want to see you, they make time for you.
Focus on the people who make time for you, not the ones who don't

Let it go.

I think interacting with social media is often more about entertainment than communicating with friends. Liking your socials is something she will do while scrolling and liking many others. It’s not personal.

The rest of your communication with her is a perfect example of “the slow fade “. It’s disappointing to be on the receiving end of that but there’s really nothing you can do about it. Working at the same company might make it awkward at times. Just remain cheerful and professional.

I’d let the ‘friendship’ go. She’s clearly not interested. Autistic or not, it’s rude not to reply for over a week on a regular basis.

As a autistic person myself I think she’s probably socially burnt out and needs some time. She is still interacting with you at work & on social media, it’s not like she has ghosted you and probably thats all the energy she has currently. Give her some time it’s incredibly common in autistic people.