H has always held an important senior position, and been a very popular pillar of the community. I became normalised to him texting female friends or colleagues frequently and kissing when they bump into each other or meet at an event, then chatting and ignoring me. H has always done this at work or socially. With family it feels more appropriate to kiss when greeting but not beyond that. It has become clear in recent years that he has bullied me to feel ‘less than’ and to accept a very unhealthy dynamic in which he would shame or punish me verbally, say I’m evil, give the silent treatment or black mood, and withdraw physically and emotionally, if I attempted to share an opinion or disagree with his plans or hold a boundary. He has always stared at women (he finds attractive) to get their attention, until they either return the flirting or look extremely uncomfortable and continues to do this, denying it happens when Ive challenged him. I became very isolated and unable to make any decisions, and missed out a lot on family life, living by his rules. Life has been chaotic because of his job and he’s thought highly of socially and professionally, but living with him has been a totally different story. Recently, following support through therapy etc, I’ve become more aware of the abuse, got support through women’s services etc. I think he’s noticed my growth, and firmer boundaries, and has toned down some of his behaviour, which has been confusing because I felt I was getting closer to leaving and now wondering why I needed to, but the kissing thing continues and has become really difficult to accept women literally fawning over him, if nothing else it just feels embarrassing.