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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Imbalance and acknowledgment

4 replies

Itsjustlife · 09/01/2026 11:44

Hi everyone, I just wanted to get some thoughts before I raise this with my partner. I’ve been with them for 19 years, and Christmas has always felt a bit uncomfortable for me. This year we went to my brother- and sister-in-law’s for lunch. I cooked and paid for all of the food, which wasn’t cheap. I didn’t mind doing it, but out of the 11 in-laws there, only one person said thank you. We also gave Christmas presents, but I didn’t receive a card or any acknowledgement in return.

Yesterday was also a milestone birthday for me, and none of my in-laws sent a text or card. I think what’s hurt me most is the lack of acknowledgement rather than the effort itself.

I’ve decided that going forward I’m going to step back. I often help out with childcare, fixing things, and other support, but I want to start investing my time and energy into the people who make an effort with me. I wanted to check whether it’s reasonable to feel upset about this.

thanks in advance

OP posts:
didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 09/01/2026 11:48

You went to someone's house but paid for and cooked all the food? Am I reading that correctly?

Happy birthday for yesterday.

itsthetea · 09/01/2026 12:13

You paid or you and your partner ?

happy birthday

Itsjustlife · 09/01/2026 12:24

Hey all, I paid for all meat, veggies etc for everyone

OP posts:
Whizzingwhippet · 09/01/2026 12:25

Why did you pay for all of the food? But no, not unreasonable to draw back.

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