To wake someone up on a day flight?

[hmwbele]

I was recently on a 9 hour flight. It departed at 10am. Sat in economy in a row of three. I got allocated this seat and couldn’t change it.

I had the window seat and then two strangers next to me. After the lunch service, the person sat in the middle decided to have a nap. They slept about an hour before I decided I wanted to get up to stretch my legs and go speak to my friend who was sat somewhere else.

I like to get up every two hours to try and avoid leg issues.

After I woke them up and apologised and said I needed to stretch my legs they seemed annoyed and said it’s pretty selfish to wake someone up for that.
AIBU?

It was pretty selfish to wake them just because you fancied a wander and a blether with your pal.

There's plenty of leg exercises you can sitting in your seat so that excuse doesn't wash either.

Try thinking of others for once and not be so selfish.

I would have said I had to use the bathroom (in other words HAD to get up) rather than just wanted to stretch my legs. But of course you were entitled to get up. It isn't clear if you tried to get up as soon as they had collected the rubbish from the meal service, which would be the obvious time. If you'd waited, say, 15 minutes, giving him just enough time to get comfortable and fall asleep, and then decided to get up, I can see why your seatmate was annoyed. But if you don't have the window seat you have to be willing to get up at any point in the flight.

I like to have the option to get up and move around whenever I want, especially on a long flight, so I try and book an aisle seat when possible. Similarly, my husband likes to sleep and often doesn't need to get up even once on a long flight, so books the window seat when possible. But, ultimately, it's not a private plane. Your seatmate may have been annoyed but it is what it is.

You could have offered to swap with them so they could sleep un disturbed

Tbh it was a but selfish of you to wake them for that reason, it would have been different if you needed the toilet. They may have been on a connecting flight beforehand and already been travelling for hours. If you know this is what you like to do on a flight why didn’t you book an aisle seat so you wouldn’t be disturbing anyone?

I think that I'd have said: 'I'm sorry, perhaps I should have booked an aisle seat, but I didn't think of that. I need to get up every so-often because I have arthritis (or whatever) & need to stretch out, perhaps we should swap seats so that I don't keep disturbing you?' That way they have a choice swap seats or be disturbed. On a long flight it's recommended that you get up & walk around every couple of hours anyway so no big deal.

At the end of the day it's unlikely that you will meet them again - so what if they spend the next few months moaning about the pain in the arse woman who kept waking them up?

Get up and down as you need. I always tell people I’m going get up frequently because of a health condition and let them decide if they want to swap with me.

Just say “don’t be ridiculous - this is economy and people need to move and use facilities. If you wanted to be undisturbed you could have paid to book a window seat”

Don't give it too much thought. He might not be used to flying much.

If he wanted to not be disturbed, he could have booked a window seat himself.
It's completely normal to have to get up on flights. He'll get over it.

If you take the aisle seat you should expect to have to get up for the person/people inside. If that's a problem, then book a window seat.

Aisle seats are sought-after and even booking early doesn't always guarantee one. It's the height of selfishness to take something that means you will block other people and then complain when they would like to be unblocked. For any reason.

Night and day aren’t really relevant on long haul flights where you’re crossing time zones. But if he wants to sleep undisturbed he should have booked a window. Just as you should have gone for an aisle given you like to be up and down like a yoyo. The compromise is you don’t actually need to be get up quite that frequently especially not for a wander and a chat with your mate and he obviously can’t expected uninterrupted sleep in a middle seat in economy. I would just sit tight until you actually need the loo, then by all means wake him, and take that as your opportunity to have a stretch and see your mate at the same time.

They are twats. I recall on a long haul flight, the woman next to me refused to get up to allow me out. So I stepped on her to climb out and she was pissed.

I did not care.

However I don’t like to move on flights. If I knew I wanted to move every 2 hours I would ensure to have an aisle seat. It’s unusual to not be able to select one (even if that means paying) on a long haul flight. I would have offered to switch seats.

So you are BOTH being unreasonable.

EITA

Did you offer to swap seats once you had woken him? If you fall asleep in a middle seat you can expect to be disturbed at some point but every two hours while you had a chat would be unreasonable.

Although you did nothing wrong i would be annoyed if you woke me up to stretch your legs especially if I'd just fallen asleep.

It's important for some people to stretch their legs. For example, I have an increased risk of blood clots on long-haul flights because I'm short and my feet can't rest on the floor adequately. The only way I can stop the blood pooling in my thighs is to get up and walk around every so often.

So I think YANBU. But if you don't get allocated an aisle seat on a flight, maybe it would be worth warning the others in your row that you'll need to get up, and offer them the chance to swap with you. If they choose not to, they shouldn't later complain about being disturbed.

I would not give a reason for wanting to stand up - I would just say "Excuse me, could I get past please?" then they would probably assume you needed the bathroom

That seems like a you problem, if you dont want people getting past you all the time then book a window seat.

If you need to get up every 2 hours to stretch legs you should book an aisle or extra leg room seat.

I think it's reasonable on a long flight to expect to ask once to go the toilet, plus expect that the person next to you might go once so there could be an opportune second opportunitu, and maybe when they say we are going to turn seatbelts on for landing soon (you are getting off soon so they won't mind a second request).

If they wanted to nap and not be disturbed then they could book the window seat.

You are not wrong, Id wake up anyone next to me if I wanted to get out for any reason.

Also agree if someone wants to sleep undisturbed they should book a window.

I like to get up and walk around, so I always get an aisle seat in order to avoid disturbing anyone. I don't care if people next to me want to get out - I'm happy to move for them.

So I think you were both unreasonable really. If he didn't want to be disturbed, he should have had a window seat. If you wanted to get up and move around, you should have had an aisle seat.

Equally it is very advisable to move often on a flight

I think YABU. If you need the loo then that's fair enough, but just to see your mate and stretch your legs I wouldn't wake someone else up.

Pay for a seat next to your mate if you can't go a flight without speaking to her, there are plenty of stretches you can do in your seat to avoid leg issues .

I agree with this. I always try and book an aisle seat anyway, but if I am in the window seat I only wake my seatmates up if I really need to use the loo, not just because I fancy a wander.

No matter which class of travel this is public transport - I’d speak to cabin crew next time if you’re met with this scenario again and explain the issue to see if they can move you. Some people have a medical reason to move every couple of hours. As others pointed out though: you knew this would be an issue - couldn’t you have paid to change your seat for an aisle one? Or given the sleeping person your window seat?

What would you expect cabin crew to do? If he refused to get up then yes, definitely, ring your call button. But because he seemed annoyed? I don't think flight attendants can police peoples emotions.