School mums - I said something I regret

[Babybirdmum]

On a school mums pub drinks there’s about 30 of us, one of the mums was talking about another mums husband who is a “business man”. I could see the face of the other mum snickering so I said “I know what you’re thinking” (this is after a few drinks by the way) and she said “go on say it” and I said “drug dealer” because he seems like it (wild assumption I know!). The original mum who was talking said “no how do you know?” And the other mum said “some things happened at family camp” which she never expanded on. When she went to the loo the original mum said to me “it’s just rumours, he’s a lovely man who loves Jesus, loves his kids, genuine business man”. I agreed and said yes it’s probably just rumours.
Basically I feel bad about it every time I see the man and his wife and I worry they will somehow know about this conversation and worry they thinks I have called them a drug dealer. I wish I had just kept my mouth shut.

Who cares what they think 🤷‍♀️

Nothing said in the pub counts. Next!

there's 30 Moms on a night out but NOT this one Mom? or was she elsewhere? I doubt anyone will say anything, it's just drunk talk and they'd be admitting they colluded with the chat. but I'd say in future be wary of what you're drinking if you don't trust what you say / the other Moms.

Seems like a non-event to me. You gossiped a bit, we are all guilty of that. Unless he is a legitimate drug dealer and you are expecting someone to show up at your door with a gun for blowing his cover, I wouldn't think much about it.

Surely it was just a joke?

It seems like a pretty weird, arbitrary thing to say. I mean, it isn't clear why you said it, or why you thought that the 'snickering' people were snickering because they also thought he was a drug dealer? I mean, why did you think they thought he was a drug dealer? What do you imagine a drug dealer 'seems like'?

The one time that the father of two kids at our village school turned out to actually be a fairly significant drug kingpin, no one had the faintest idea until there was a dawn raid on their very nice house in the most chichi cul de sac in the village and he was marched off. His wife, whom I only knew by sight, seemed perfectly ordinary and his PIL also lived in the village and were pillars of the bowling club and parish council. He also seemed entirely ordinary, come to that. He wasn't continually looking over his shoulder and having low-voiced conversations with shady-looking types or anything.

(He got 15 years and his family moved away.)

Don’t go round calling people drug dealers, pretty simple really. What a shitty comment.

I suppose I do want to be friendly with them so I feel like I messed up

Haha thanks I was unaware of this unwritten rule

She wasn’t there some people had left but it was still quite a big group. Thanks, im normally wary of what I say so that’s why I’m worrying

No I don’t really think he’s a drug dealer I’m just worried I’ve put my foot in it

It’s sort of hard to explain unless you were there why I thought she also thought it. I suppose it’s because if you imagine what a drug dealer high up in the chain is like it would be him, I don’t want to give too many details about him but imagine every depiction on TV and he would fit that

You went too far. Calling someone a drug dealer in a group of 29 potential witnesses was not smart. The other mums were hinting and choosing their words so can back out. You came right out with it.
Realistically, I doubt there will be any come back, but you do probably need to learn to watch your mouth when you've had a drink. Because if you're saying things that worry you afterwards, it's for your own good.

Everyone says stuff in the pub to get laughs, affirmation etc. Almost nothing is meant seriously.
However, because I have sometimes felt bad saying things or agreeing with gossip just to be 'in' with others, I do check myself more these days.
I'm a lot better, but occasionally something slips through and I feel bad for a couple of days.

Even as a joke it could back fire on you. It's too easy to say something to the wrong person after a drink and it could be a problem.

Who do you want to be friendly with someone who your gut instinct is telling you is a drug dealer? Trust your gut.

Well, sure, but surely you realised it was a dopey thing to actually say out loud in front of that many witnesses?

Especially as the only high-up in the drugs business I've ever encountered was a completely ordinary-looking school run dad.

I wouldn’t worry too much. I’m not totally clear on the tone of the conversation but from your post it sounds like they’ve had their own suspicions about him anyway and therefore you haven’t said anything that seems totally out of the realms of possibility.

Maybe you should join me on Dry January!

I hate the cringe after a night out. Feel for you. But going tee-total - long term - will solve it!

I think if nothing comes of it you need to count yourself lucky and learn the lesson to zip it.

I'll never forget bitching about a friend in secondary school and having it get out and being shunned for a few weeks. It bloody hurt but it was a painful lesson never to say something you don't want people to say you've said. I know you know but now you really know!

You were bitchy in a pub once, it's done now, is it such a big deal.

Don't repeat it again, and move on. Stop gossiping and making imaginary scenario about random school parents, is there a need for such drama?

it's idiotic, but what you forget is that it's SCHOOL parents - that can come back to the kids, when one mum repeats what you said and her own kid heard it. Most adults would just roll their eyes if they heard that some random boring school mum called them a drug dealer, 😂, but their child might not be that amused.

So stop behaving like a silly girl next time?

It’s fine. I’m fairly sure I’ve said the same about a parent without alcohol 🤣
it’s a non issue

😂😂😂

Muscly, covered in tattoos, skin head, hung like a water buffalo?