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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

On the edge of quitting my job today.

63 replies

Sonolanona · 08/01/2026 07:57

I've worked in special ed for over 20 years.
Change of management means that we are thrown into different classes constantly (as never enough staff), which apart from being really bad for the children who need stability, means you never know where you will be, and as an older experienced TA I often get sent to the 'difficult' classes.
Thanks to years of managing challenging behaviour I now have a bad back.. lateral cervical stenosis to be accurate. I've adapted how I do things with my usual (early years) class.. I squat not bend to change pads, we hoist non mobile cildren etc..it's fine. BUT if my head is yanked back to the floor by a hair puller or I have to help with a large child who is attacking, I can't any more..and this is the class I keep being sent to.
In the holidays I emailed and politely requested that I wasn't put in a particular class where the risk of very challenging behaviour is very high.(and I did get a reply 'thanks for letting us know' Guess where they have put me today and tomorrow?
I'm already job hunting, but I think when I arrive in half an hour and they haven't changed it... I'm going home. It would be a sad end to a long career and I really don't want to be jobless (I can only work part time due to other caring duties) but I feel like they really do not give a toss as long as the numbers are covered :(
AIBU?

OP posts:
Factshows · 08/01/2026 08:00

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Parker231 · 08/01/2026 08:00

Sounds horrendous. Your health is always the most important factor.
As an experienced TA I’m sure any school would be glad to employ you and you could find one with a safer environment.

HermioneWeasley · 08/01/2026 08:02

Agree, make it their problem. Refuse to work with the class because it isn’t safe. Point out they haven’t carried out a risk assessment for your health condition or made reasonable adjustments.

Swiftie1878 · 08/01/2026 08:04

Don’t just walk out. Go and speak to the Head. Tell them you don’t think they have fully understood your e-mail, as you are still being placed where your health is being challenged.
Insist on a change of class.

Good luck!

Hollowvoice · 08/01/2026 08:06

Go in and have a conversation about it. Its possible the holiday email has been forgetten or not passed to the right person but actually talking through the issues and pointing out that if you work in that class it's likely you'll end up off sick will probably be more fruitful

TheatricalLife · 08/01/2026 08:08

YANBU at all.
A 'thanks for letting me know' email really wasn't enough (or appropriate) for a message from a staff memeber requesting a change due to health or medical reasons. It should have been addressed properly from a health and safety perspective. They've either skim read or just haven't got the staff and have put you in hoping you won't say anything.
Best of luck today. Hopefully it's a scheduling error.

Brainworm · 08/01/2026 08:08

Ask them for an occupational health referral relating to your condition and the impact work has on it. They late legally obliged to make reasonable adjustment to accommodate your condition. From what you say, you are more than able to perform your role when you have use of a hoist and when working with children below a certain size and weight. This suggest you should be able to stay in your role and go a good job and the school need to make these accommodations.

MikeRafone · 08/01/2026 08:10

I’d ask you f they are purposely doing this so that you have to leave? Are they hell bent on reducing the workforce to compound the situation

Lafoofoo · 08/01/2026 08:10

I wouldnt wslk out, especially if you're job hunting.

Tell them they need to put you in another class today and tomorrow and hand your notice in if thats what you want to do.

BCBird · 08/01/2026 08:11

No one should be subjected to this type of behaviour, but sadly I know it happens a lot. Did you outline why you were requesting not going to that class? If you provided medical evidence would this request be classed as reasonable adjustments? Are u able to consult a union? I understand your sadness if you have to walk.out. I would continue looking for another job. If you are able would you consider doing agency work? If you know what particular school you would like to work.at, find out what supply agency they use and sign up. Perhaps you could consider mainstream? I know agency work is only a possibility if you have another source of income in the household. Your health is of vital importance. Don't let people fob you off.

fluffythecat1 · 08/01/2026 08:15

Brainworm · 08/01/2026 08:08

Ask them for an occupational health referral relating to your condition and the impact work has on it. They late legally obliged to make reasonable adjustment to accommodate your condition. From what you say, you are more than able to perform your role when you have use of a hoist and when working with children below a certain size and weight. This suggest you should be able to stay in your role and go a good job and the school need to make these accommodations.

Agree with this, they have a legal responsibility to make reasonable adjustments because of your medical condition. Put it in writing and contact your union for support if you belong to one.

ADHDwifeHP · 08/01/2026 08:35

If you need to take a sick day to get some perspective / clarity/ calm I would recommend that and then have a conversation with them.

FusionChefGeoff · 08/01/2026 08:42

Yup - stand your ground. This isn’t your problem to solve (by leaving) it’s THEIR issue to assess properly and agree reasonable adjustments.

You have a job with them.

It’s absolutely up to THEM to give you work to do and to keep you safe.

If they won’t do that (as I think you’ve demonstrated very clearly that they CAN do that via some very easy tweaks) then just sit in the staffroom / offer to help / do whatever you are able.

Don’t willingly lose your job!

crazeekat · 08/01/2026 08:47

don’t walk out, it will reflect on u not them (wrong I know,)
instead go to ur manager today asked to be moved allocated class. If she states no then go to the class and then put in a complete official grievance against the managers. Get HR, health and safety. Ohsas, your GP, and don’t back down. They are relying on u doing nothing. Their reply was unprofessional and dismissive. Your health comes first not their rotas.

geminicancerean · 08/01/2026 09:08

From a mum of a kid in a SEN school YANBU - management aren’t doing enough here. You can’t fix the school issues by yourself, they
wont resolve quickly, protect yourself and get out.

usedtobeaylis · 08/01/2026 09:09

Also suggesting asking for an OH referral and a risk assessment.

Disenchantedone · 08/01/2026 09:24

OP i would call in sick, or go off sick at lunch time, a med cert from your doctor stating your condition should be sent to your employers, then an occ health assessment. If you just leave you get nothing. Let them pay sick pay until they get themselves sorted out!

user1471538283 · 08/01/2026 09:28

Make this their problem! You've raised the issue and it's up to them to sort it out. If this happens today you leave work and go to the doctor and explain you are unwell because of work.

You can get an occupational health referral later on.

InterestedDad37 · 08/01/2026 09:31

Are you in a union OP?
This is exactly one of the situations in which a union can help sort out the issue. ✊

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 08/01/2026 09:33

Go sick because you aren’t well enough to work with that class. You are injured.

BrendaSmall · 08/01/2026 09:34

I’m totally with you!

I walked out of my job on Tuesday, I was taking home £1600 a month I was fed up of cleaning up after the people who was there the day before me and they never done any work because they knew I’d do it the next day!
So yes I left
🤣🤦🏻‍♀️
I don’t know what I’m going to be doing next, at the moment I’m enjoying being home, unfortunately the weather is rubbish so I can’t get out anywhere, a shame it didn’t happen in the summer 🤣🤣

Catza · 08/01/2026 09:38

Brainworm · 08/01/2026 08:08

Ask them for an occupational health referral relating to your condition and the impact work has on it. They late legally obliged to make reasonable adjustment to accommodate your condition. From what you say, you are more than able to perform your role when you have use of a hoist and when working with children below a certain size and weight. This suggest you should be able to stay in your role and go a good job and the school need to make these accommodations.

Another vote for this. You need to request a formal OH assessment.
But just a note, the employer is not legally required to make any reasonable adjustments so long as they can prove it's not "reasonable" using government-outlined criteria. You do, however, have a legal right to request them so I would do that and go from there.
And remember, that any refusal of RAs should be in writing with a clear reason for refusal. Your Head can't just say "if we do it for you, we have to do it for everyone" as they often do when refusing.

Enduser14 · 08/01/2026 09:43

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Wiseplumant · 08/01/2026 09:43

Yes quit. You have done your stint at the coalface and got the scars to prove it. Your managers don't give a damn, and they have stupidly shot themselves in the foot by risking losing an experienced worker. You have plenty of transferable skills. I worked for the NHS in similar circumstances and the best thing I ever did was quit under very similar circumstances.