To think DH shouldn't have rearranged nursery furniture

[dodomin]

I would love everyone to tell me I'm overthinking this.
I have an almost 3 year old DD and am scheduled in for a C section later today for our second baby. All the advice I have received is to keep things as consistent and ordinary as possible for our toddler. DD is staying with my parents as of last night while I will be in hospital. DH wanted to do something nice and has decided to rearrange the nursery furniture in the middle of the night. This room is DD's - her wardrobe and toys are in there. She co-sleeps with us in our main bedroom but she does have a toddler bed in the nursery which she doesn't use. Going forward when baby arrives, the plan was for me and baby to initially sleep in the nursery (next to me is in there as well as a daybed) while DH is with DD in main bedroom. I won't be able to co-sleep for a while because of the C-section.

Anyway, now DH has rearranged all the furniture in the room - do you think it will be a massive shock to her system when she comes home from grandparents? My DM is saying perhaps they should come to the house with DD before baby arrives to show her that it's all been made pretty for her?

Part of my stress comes from how DD has recently developed a stammer. It coincides with the birth of her cousin 3 months ago and also having recently started nursery - I've been a SAHM and so she is particularly attached to me and it seems like all the changes have made her a bit anxious. She is very close to her grandparents and was the only grandchild up until now and for lack of a better way to say it, has very much been everyone's PFB... And so I feel like.change is hitting her hard.

Is the reorganising of a few bits of furniture (just existing furniture has been moved around rather than taking any of her things out) going to be very terrible?

TY in advance. I have to leave the house in literally an hour for the section and so will get DH to put it back if he can before that.

Edit to add: we don't have a huge house. It is a 3 bed and the third room is a box room being used as storage so almost feels like a 2 bed really.

I don't think the furniture will be an issue at all, presumably he's thought it through, all children adjust when siblings arrive. Just a suggestion though, would it not be better for you DH to sleep in the nursery with your DD? And for you to stay in your bed post section with the baby in there? I think transitioning back at a later date to DD in the nursery and potentially continuing to co-sleep with the new baby in your bed could be even more challenging.

Another non problem.

I think you are overthinking things.

good luck with the section.

Have I got this right. DD sleeps in your room at the moment with you and DH. So, if you move into the nursery with Dbaby, she will have lost her Mum all night as well as whenever Mum is busy with Dbaby. I'm not sure about the furniture but am quite sure she will be getting that 'abandonment' syndrome that comes with new siblings. I personally saw my 2 year old regress on the arrival of Dbaby. I was horrified but told it was pretty normal and only temporary and caused by wanting attention.

I would say there will be more issues adjusting to the baby not the furniture, yes overthinking

Then that’s the main thing.

All the best for today!!

You are overthinking, lots of kids have a sibling to adjust to, rearranging the furniture in a room DD doesnt even sleep in is not that big a deal. Your DH is also allowed an opinion on things - if you are not careful you will pass your anxiety about how DD will cope onto your DD and it will become a self fulfilling prophecy.

I hope everything goes well this morning @dodomin

Some older siblings really love having a baby around especially when it's girl/girl. Some really take on the big sister role and want to help and will be helpful and lovely.

We tried to keep our 1st DC's (boy) life as normal as possible. DC2 (girl) had to fit in around us. We got some routines in place (feeding times for example) but we didn't stop taking DC1 to his regular playgroups/soft play to keep things regular and made sure we spent time being present with him but he hated having a sibling 🫣
He asked if we could take her back after a couple of days 😬

He was a little older than your DD though, he was nearly 4.

Good luck x