I am currently mourning the loss of a friendship of 20 years. In a nutshell we have both experienced major trauma since becoming mothers. I won't go into the details but I feel I have made the effort to visit and see her and support her through her traumas, but when my life was falling apart..
Nothing. Only the odd message about her own life which I reply to and she has ignored. Then after radio silence she contacts me and expects me to want to "reconnect" I feel the expectation is we can pick up where we left off and play happy families now. I can't help but feel I was willing to sit with her in her grief and hear about her pain and trauma, but when my time came she didn't want to know. It hurts so much.
It was really hard but I challenged her about this when she finally got back in contact. I was hoping she could see my perspective, especially as I have held myself accountable for hurting her in the past. She got incredibly defensive and was very dismissive of how I felt. So I decided to end the friendship.
It's just been so painful. I am trying to appreciate the good memories before the friendship broke down but I keep ruminating about how much she has hurt me and the fact she wasn't willing to see my perspective.
Especially as I have always been willing to do this for her.
Any advice or hand holds? Feeling fragile so please be kind.