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AIBU?

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DM is taking on too much

3 replies

DuckDuckFuck · 07/01/2026 13:56

My DP's were foster carers for about 10 years (after myself and my brother had left home). Great thing to do and we supported them whenever we could

About 2 years ago they decided to take a break from fostering. Since then DF has had a severe stroke and is now living in a residential setting. He is unlikely to be coming home for the foreseeable future.

DM has now decided that she wants to start fostering again (as a single carer). I am not convinced that this is a great idea (even if social services would allow it). She's now 68 - has her own health challenges and we don't know what the future holds with my DF. Part of the reason they decided to take a break was that SS kept sending them teenagers (difficult ones to say the least) when they had asked to only foster younger kids and toddlers. I worry that DM will once again have to deal with an angry teenager but this time on her own.

OP posts:
DuckDuckFuck · 07/01/2026 13:57

Fwiw - I think one of the main reasons she wants to foster again is that she's lonely, now that she lives on her own.

OP posts:
purplecorkheart · 07/01/2026 14:11

Would she consider doing respite care? Not for very ill children but maybe children who's parent is in hospital or something similar.

Seawolves · 07/01/2026 14:58

Is she de-registered now? If she has to start the whole process all over again she may find that she isn't approved. If she's still a registered carer then she would need to be firm with SS about the age range she can offer a home to, I know from personal experience just how much pressure can be put on foster carers by the home finding team but it is on us as foster carers to say no.

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