To think this woman was within her rights?

[KimberleyClark]

Sorry for Daily Mail link. Briefly,obese woman paid for two seats to accommodate her size. A woman with a toddler came along and asked if she could have the extra seat. Woman was shamed when she refused.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-13001341/obese-plane-passenger-paid-extra-seat-size-shame.html

But not being verbally abused by someone should be a given. The woman wouldn’t have gained anything here.

I'd want more than a drink to give up a seat I'd booked and paid for. I'd want full price + extra for my inconvenience. In cash. Thank you.

It doesn't even read as though the mother would be sitting next to the toddler, just dumping him in a seat she hasn't paid for, for a stranger to look after.

This in short. Problem is with some people having children massively increases their perceived entitlement. I wouldn't have given up the seat l had paid for either

It always amazes me how on MN, no one is ever willing to give just a little bit, because everything comes down to is right and that's the end of it.

Everyone is constantly moaning at how nobody is never ever shown kindness or empathy, yet the norm is that as long as one can prove they are right, they are exempt from sharing any kind of kindness.

Of course the woman was in her right. Not one bloody person would be stupid enough to argue it. Yes, the mum shouldn't have given her a mouth full.

I all likelihood though, she assumed as you would, that the seat was free, and even doubt that the woman was telling the truth about having booked both because who has ever come across someone who does?

We don't know the circumstances. Maybe that mother was especially stressed, maybe she wanted to book both seats but she was too late and there were none left available, which would be especially frustrating. Maybe she could only afford one seat.

My point is that sometimes, you gave to step away from the primitive satisfaction of just proving someone wrong and getting some enjoyment from the outcome. Sometimes, there are ways to give a little and find that it pays off in other ways.

It certainly works for me. I have regular tales of giving a bit even when I don't want to to find out that not only the other person is grateful which makes me feel good but are able to give something back, in as a basic way as to provide vaulable advice about matters that help.

@KitsyWitsy under-2s can sit on adult's lap I believe. So if you have a toddler, you can save money by buying just one seat. If you're fortunate enough that the adjacent seat is empty, you can have it as a freebie and put your toddler on it. This mum clearly thought she'd chance her luck with what appeared to be an empty seat. However, once the woman told her it was her seat, and that she'd paid for 2 seats, then mum should have accepted it without question.

Two is the age when a child is legally required to have its own airplane seat.

The mother was definitely a cf - in what other circumstances would a stranger be expected to give up something they'd paid for?

And as the child was so young it should not be seated away from the parents for all manner of reasons, mainly to do with the child's welfare but also because who on earth wants to sit next to a toddler on a plane if they don't have to?

This.

Pretty straightforward, and good for that woman in recognising she needed two seats (I've had to do long haul next to an obese person - not comfortable for either of us, but frankly, I wasn't the problem).

You sound like a pushover and I very much doubt that in this particular scenario that we are discussing, you'd be happy to pay £100s of pounds for a seat just to give it away to 'be kind'.

I really think something needs to be done about it. It is incredibly unfair to be stuck next to someone who doesn't fit in their own seat. Many are not considerate enough to buy two seats. I know it's awful but they shouldn't be allowed on if they don't fit in the seat. The seats are not big enough as it is.

Who knows maybe she would have offered to pay half of the seat or buy her a drink.

...and maybe not. Why should she give up the seat (or part of the seat) she paid for to find out?

No to be verbally abused by someone

She has the right not to be verbally abused without giving up the seat she paid for.

There are no signs at all that this woman refused because of the pleasure of being right. She paid for two seats to be comfortable and she used those seats. Why have you made up a scenario in your own head and written multiple paragraphs about it?

@Passaggressfedup can you tell me where and when you do your grocery shopping, so I can pop my stuff in your trolley so you can pay for it?

I think you should have some sympathy with the obese woman. She's no doubt had numerous occasions when she's felt physically uncomfortable squeezed into a single seat, and has felt embarrassed about overflowing into an adjacent seat. She may even have had bitchy comments made about her. So finally she decides she'll save up, maybe go without things, in order to ensure that her next plane journey is more comfortable. Finally she can travel without worrying that she's being an inconvenience to others. And then someone who's only paid for one seat, decides she wants a freebie. And when she doesn't get it, she sulks. The poor obese woman, who has paid double in order to have a comfortable flight, is made to feel guilty, yet again. That's not very kind is it!

Even when my kids flew free - being under 2 and allowed on laps (surely dangerous but ok).. we always paid for a seat for them... you need the space even if the child decides to sit on your lap.

I agree with you, when I flew with my Dc who was then a toddler I paid for an extra seat so she could have her own, instead of being on my lap. If I hadn’t and there was an empty seat on my row I would have asked if she could have sat there, but when told that the person had paid for 2 seats I wouldn’t have insisted on it and would have left it there. Very entitled to push for a seat someone else has paid for.

I actually think this comes down to some parents genuinely believing others should pay for, and accommodate, their children.
I don't agree.

I had the same opinion about Daily Mail before all that TRA nonsense. But then both Guardian and the Independent started consistently referring to certain rapists with female pronouns, and Daily Mail did not. Though, it has happened in Daily Mail on occasion too.

However, I now find that it is Guardian and The Independent, people should be ashamed to read. Misogynistic, victim-shaming, perverted, lying, pretentious rags that they are.

And don't think that I will forget it either. I have not bought Israeli products ever, because when I started to afford to buy things myself, I already knew about the illegal settlements on the West Bank, and I didn't want to risk supporting people who did that. I have been boycotting Israel for more than thirty years.

Sure, I might forgive Guardian and The Independent if they stop being a-holes, apologize sincerely, and donate a s_ load of money to women's shelters for actual women. Not holding my breath, though.

Much less dangerous for a young child to be on the parents lap than in their own seat. That’s why under twos are allowed to fly free, because for takeoff and landing and turbulence they are required to be on an adults lap. An airplane seatbelt does not safely restrain a young child during more severe but survivable/“normal” airplane movements.

But the obese woman here was 100% right. If you want space for a squirmy toddler you need to pay for another seat. If you don’t, you have to accept he may need to be on your knee. Fine to ask initially, but as soon as she was told the woman had paid for both seats she should have backed off. The cabin staff were really wrong to ask her to move.

The safest place is in a airplane approved car seat. But the majority don't have those.

Id have offered to sell it to her for whatever I’d paid but only if she gave me the cash or did a bank transfer there and then. Bet she’d change her mind then. But yeah I’m guessing loads of people will be angry that a fatty didn’t just roll over and let everyone walk all over her. Especially a mum.

If she needed two seats why was there one spare for the mother to even ask about?

Presumably she wasn't taking up the whole second seat, just a portion of it.)

If someone is abusive to you because you don't give them what they want, then they have shown you who they are.

The woman booked an extra seat for comfort not just to be right. Why does she have to be made to feel bad for using the extra seat?

I'm a bit surprised that the flight attendant did not support the owner of the seat, I think I would make a complaint about that if it were me.

Shall we all join hands for a chorus of “Kumbaya”?

Buy her a drink ????

Yes, that's exactly the same value as a plane ticket, never mind the issue of the comfort of the larger woman

Who would give up their seat for an airplane drink?

It doesn't matter why she paid for a second seat. She did. And does not need to give the second one to anyone. I wouldn't want to have anyone else's toddler foisted onto me for a flight either, regardless of my size and how many seats I have paid for.