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AIBU?

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Struggle to be consistent in a routine - life and kids

1 reply

moreconsitentmum · 07/01/2026 08:00

Hello all. I was wondering if anyone could advise.

I struggle with routine and consistency in life. I always have. I am not a complete mess though, where nothing works in my life- but I know I could be better and take things to the next level, especially for my kids, as they’re getting older.

There are many things I want to do with them consistently, but I just fall off the wagon after a while.

I need a solid routine. I’ve just gone freelance after working in full time roles forever, but realising that I just want to be there for my kids more. I’m now finally able to take them to school and pick them up every day. But I’m looking for advice on how to structure their after school time, as well as their bed time and the morning routine. We are sometimes late for school, because we go to bed too late.

They are 3 and 5. I will have my 3 year old with me 2 days a week and the rest of the days he’ll be in preschool. My 5 year old is in year 1.

Anyway, it just all feels like a bit of a mess. The bed time routine is hard, as they both need me with them to fall asleep. But then they mess around. It can be frustrating. The mornings are also tough. After school is also not that structured.

my DD does one activity a week on a Sunday and has a couple of after school clubs in the week, that are part of school. But I would really like her to do dance or something like stage coach as she loves dancing / performing. I would like my son to also do something, but I just know that I’ll struggle to take them every week for one reason or another. Usually me being tired / run down.

my kids need a good solid routine. How can I change to be able to give them that ?? Can anyone relate here ? How did you change ? Can I even change ? I feel a bit hopeless because I try and then it just falls apart.

what is your after school routine ? Or your bed time routine ? How do your mornings run smoothly ?thank you for your help.

OP posts:
Mumofoneandone · 07/01/2026 08:42

Not sure I can advise much as mine can be quite muddled, mainly due to disability. Also takes a while to get back into the swing of things after a holiday, particularly Christmas. I think planning and organising are key. Things like getting clothes out in the evening ready for school the next day. Get them involved as much as possible with helping out, so that you spend time with them but also get things done.
Some free play time after school isn't a bad thing - maybe look at different things each time, like Lego one day, long bath another, cooking another.......
Obviously having to stay with the children whilst they go to sleep does hit into your time. Is there anyway you can work on that?
Maybe do some picture charts as to what needs to happen at certain times - particularly in the mornings. Have extra sets of toothbrushes downstairs, so they are to hand.
I read once about making jobs a single step ie when you come in, coats are hung up and shoes put away/dishes go straight in the dishwasher, not on the side etc. Then that job is done....
Make lists!
Sorry if a bit of a ramble......

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