What tiny things make you irrationally annoyed?

[Bikergran]

Just that, really. I'll start with a few.

The way discount pop-ups scream at you on a shopping page as soon as you click on it. Excuse me, I haven't had a chance to look at the product yet, I don't KNOW if I want a 15% discount!!

Daytime TV adverts. Either they are for funeral plans, featuring perky older couples chatting gaily about "lovely send-offs" or overpriced tat that requires them to repeat the same information repeatedly for several minutes in the hope you'll be hypnotised into ordering it.

Supermarket layouts. Always moving stuff about, completely random grouping of items. For instance, my local Morrisons has just moved half its meat products on an aisle away from the butchery department.

I have dozens more, nothing major, but niggling.

Shopkeepers giving your change back with the coins on top of the notes! Pisses me off sooo much. Inevitably the coins just roll around and fall off. 😡

People that talk about "the back end of last year". Just say the end FFS!

It also makes no sense with the 'traditional' method of counting up your change back to the full amount of the note handed over, to show that your change is correct - in which the assistant would hand the coins and notes back in ascending order, so obviously they'd have given all the coins first before any notes.

I have thought of another one. People who bleet on about football are so annoying. My mum also blames the referee every time that her team drops points. She is incapable of accepting that her team were rubbish on the day. Friends who spend the entire time scrolling on their phone when we go out.

People who expect me to do a job as soon as they ask. They are incapable of waiting for 2 minutes. People who constantly sniff. People who yawn rally loudly. People who talk in their back garden in a booming voice.

People who use 'intimacy' when they mean 'sex'.

Eg "We haven't had intimacy for a while now..." or "Whenever we have intimacy..."

I only ever see it on here.

Or vouchers for pissy amounts which force to spend another £20-30. I’d rather just get a £10 note in my birthday card.

Your anger is not irrational!

Yes! And the vinegar runs off the chips, through the holes and goes all over the fake newspaper!

🤣🤣🤣

Getting ads for things I was looking for and THEN BOUGHT bloody ages ago. No I don't want a new dining table, I've had one these last six weeks.

Just found another one....my digital radio , for no discernible reason, just lost all its settings and retuned itself to some inane commercial pop station. After a very long and tiring day, my rage was incandescent, luckily my wonderful DH stepped in and retuned Radio 4 for me before I flung it through a window....whew!!

Well, it has existed since at least 1962 when J. L. Austin wrote his linguistic treatise about it.

But I agree that the example about Maureen is pretty meaningless and unhelpful (and not what the word was intended to describe).

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Do_Things_with_Words

People in front of me at the automated checkouts in Sainsbury's who don't answer "Would you like a receipt?" so when I get to the checkout I have to press No and then wait while it resets for the next customer.

Just press No as you leave please.

Admittedly I was being facetious.

Yes, I agree - it has a specific meaning and a history. But it’s only recently that it’s entered common usage - which is what I intended to imply.

Now it’s one of those words that has both a vernacular and a specific meaning. Like ‘paranoid’.

”Oh God, don’t tell Mum you took an Uber. She’s paranoid about them.”

So true! That's another small annoying thing: the use of diagnostic categories to describe bog standard behaviour/ emotions: "I'm paranoid about X" for "I'm slightly uncomfortable/ worried about X"; "he's OCD" for someone who's above averagely tidy, etc.

Genius idea for those constantly clattering falling walking sticks to have suckers

I don’t think she was saying you can’t shop, but don’t go at busy times and complain it’s busy!

Coat hangers - unmanageable

Temperamental printers

trying to log into websites and accounts and being sent round and round in endless circles of hell with two step verification codes and emails and still not getting in

Grown men in jogging suits, when not jogging. Eg round shops etc. You look like an overgrown toddler.

People who seem to spend ages doing stuff. Eg buying a train ticket, going through station barriers, ordering a cup of coffee, getting cash out of the ATM, at the post office.

Pronouns in signature eg Barry (he/him) and Fiona (she/her). Well yes I guessed that I’ve never met a female Barry or a male Fiona.

People who put their bags on seats on a busy train and almost as annoying the drips who stand and scowl at them instead of telling them to move them.

I try to be reasonable about this…’but as you know, Ted, I’m quite the cynic’.

Yes this! They do it all stupid.

Static. My house is full of it at the moment, I’ve no idea why and and it’s driving me bonkers. When I’m home my clothes are all sticking to me and my hair stands on end, and god forbid you touch another human or something metal, I immediately discharge 1000volts of lightning and it bloody hurts. DS has learnt some new words lately.

1. Re the catching things on door handles; I'm always catching my earphone leads on drawer handles and door handles. I know I can solve this by using wireless earphones.

2. Having to charge wireless earphones