A party speech one

[cotswoldsblue]

It’s minor in the long run but not sure about this one…

We have family friends whom we see three or four times a year, and who have three adult children in their twenties and thirties.

They’re having a big anniversary party on Saturday and the dad has given me his speech to look through for spelling/grammar as I used to be a proofreader.

As well as a lot about him and his wife, he’s included funny anecdotes of a few lines about each of the children. I’ve slightly tweaked the details in the unimportant ones, not the key one, so don’t worry about it being identifying :)
”I’ve got three very talented children.
DD1 is a great horse rider- which began when she was ten, once the stable owner came back to find a pony there covered in stickers from her sticker book!
DD2 studied French and Spanish at university which is impressive, but not as impressive as DD1’s friend (who will be at the party), who speaks French, Spanish and Portuguese fluently and did a degree in English, his fourth language. That’s absolutely sickening really..
DS has just passed his law degree, is brilliant at exams and we asked him what he remembers about his days studying and he said eating Quality Street”.

What doesn’t sit right with me is the DD2 story mentioning someone else as the punchline- this languages friend isn’t a family friend, he’s a university friend of the first sister, so not even someone she could heartwarmingly laugh about to my knowledge. They’ve met, but I don’t think they’re terribly close. My first reaction is to ask the dad to pick another funny story about DD2 that is only about her.

The thing is though is that I’m not sure there is one. DD2 is quiet and bookish, always nice and polite. The dad/family may have racked their brains to find a funny one line story about her- as the bit about the kids is a brief aside, the story has to be only a few sentences long. AIBU to say to him/maybe his wife as an aside that they should think of a DD2 story that centres her more, but not to worry about it if they can’t think of one? Maybe they spent ages trying to do so. Or should I be more forceful and say the story with someone else as the centre definitely needs to be changed? Am I overreacting? I don’t think DD2 will mind that much, but it doesn’t sit right for me.

In all honesty I’d be pretty hurt if my dad gave a speech and gave any of those three examples to describe me.
Is it supposed to be funny? None of them are actually funny. The pony stickers and quality street are cute anecdotes. But all three say to me “my dad doesn’t know enough about me to say something meaningful to our family and friends”.

It’s not a great speech, but if you’re only looking to check for spelling etc I’d just stick to your brief. Though I’m not sure why you’d need to check for spelling and grammar as it’s not as if it’s being handed out to guests…?

I don’t think I could do the proofreading as asked for and say nothing about the anecdotes. The first would be better trimmed to saying something like she’s come a long way since the stickers. He needs to find something nice to say about DD2 that doesn’t compare her unfavourably to someone else. I think what he’s written will go down badly and make everyone uncomfortable, not just his daughters

If that's the best he can come up with I'd be suggesting he'd leave his children out of his speech altogether because it's absolutely horrible and not in the least bit funny. Perhaps he could be persuaded to say something nice about their characters and how much joy they've added to his and their mums lives.

None of this is funny, he could instead mention his pride in their accomplishments and the positive qualities he recognises in each of his children.

The speech comes across as someone so desperate to appear funny that he doesn't realise he's only going to make others feel uncomfortable and possibly upset his children ( I realise you've tweaked some details so it's not the actual speech but if that's the gist of it, it's not at all complimentary). He should definitely remove any mention of the friend from the speech.

TBH I don't think the guests would be that interested in a speech. We went to a big birthday bash last year and the birthday person gave a speech that was long and boring.

All your friend needs to do is thank everyone for coming and tell them when the food is going to be served.

I agree that the insensitive and clumsy comment about DD2 is horrible and needs pointing out to the dad.

Ouch. Normally I would say don't interfere but in this case I think I'd let him know without telling him outright what to do.

Like, "here's your speech, all fine, I've just made these changes. Sure your joke about DD2 and the friend isnt a bit brutal? I found it quite awkward to read tbh. Hopefully it comes across better on the night. Anyway, looking forward to it. Byyyeeeeeee"

Thanks all, will tell him to at least do a DD2 story that isn’t complimenting someone else :)