To feel that sometimes we , as dog owners , overthink things…

[Ruralivingsuits]

We took on a dog a while ago .
She has settled in really well ...
we provide a certain routine re walks and food , but other than that she has had to ‘ get on with it ‘ for want of a better phrase.

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We provided a crate (open ) with a bed in in case she needed to take herself off and rest, good food, cuddles , lots of walks .

From day one she has been exposed to new places ( were I go ) , new people and dogs in and out of the house etc etc.

I felt that a confident , calm owner who shows joy to see them is important., and basically got on with life , with her alongside.

I’ve since been told about that there is a 3 3 3 rule , for re homed dogs ,which is supposed to be adhered to ,and allows 3 day s for de compression , 3 weeks to settle, 3 months to show true self .

Aibu to think that some re homed dogs just dont need this ,and just mucking in is absolutely fine .I turned myself inside out when I learnt about this - what I was ‘ supposed ‘ to have done- when in reality she was just lovingly included in the household and expected to get on with things .

I'm a dog and nobody told me about the 333 rule so I don't think it's true. In fact I don't really have a strong concept of time at all. What's the smell? Hang on someone is walking past my house. Back in a sec.

The issue is that some dogs will take things in their stride, but others won't. One in four dogs were returned to the Dogs Trust when I worked there. Being overwhelmed and then reacting was a big cause. Going slow helps more dogs stay in homes (but it's great that yours has settled so well ❤️).

You just got lucky in that your dog was confident and sociable.

You've misunderstood it.

It's a guide to a dog's timeline for settling into a new family.

It'll take them 3 days to decompress. 3 weeks to learn your routine and 3 months before you can expect to say you've seen all the dogs' personality.

No one read the dogs a manual, it's just an approximation to help new owners understand their dogs needs cannot be met in a day and to show people that it takes time and more dogs may need more time than others.

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions

???
😀

NeedForSpeedyGonzales
thanks for explaining that- i am neuro atypical and I tend to
see things without shades of grey.
I took it literally.

I have a rehomed dog. Never heard of that rule. Not entirely sure how I would enforce it ?
Whats the difference between decompression and settling in?

The only bit I would agree with is the fact that it takes a while to gauge their true personality . By which time you’ve probably established some rukes for them, so that point iis moot.

I think, start as you mean to go on. Positive reinforcement. Absolutely give them time to find their way.

I guess overall I would say, give the dog time and don’t return them without a very good reason

We’ve always had dogs from puppies, our last one is 3.5 years now, but literally burst into the house, licked everyone, sniffed everything and plonked herself right into the middle of everyone, where she’s stayed lol … it did take our male cats a good 2 years to come around, but they all get in great now. Our female cats though is still very 🤬 with her … saying that she’s worse with the boy cats lol … she hates them all really

You were lucky with your dog.
Rescues can, and very often do, come from terrible and abusive environments and take a long time to adjust.
The 333 certainly didn’t apply to our little rescue it took far longer , she came from a puppy farm where she was used a breeding mama and even now after years of being treated gently and spoiled rotten we still see the effects of her abuse.
Of course some dogs don’t need much adjustment, but most do.

whattheysay

That breaks my heart.
xxxx

whattheysay

Our dog was adopted, not rescue , in that she came from a loving home , whose circumstances changed.

Huge respect to you and your kindness.

I think it really depends

Having worked in rescue theres a wide difference between a confident dog used to coming and goings and a nervous dog from a non home setting, fresh out of a kennel that terrified them

One of ours for example was freaked out by carpet, another by the noise of washing machine. Something like kids visiting would have tipped them over into overwhelm and caused uncharacteristic behaviour

I've had others that I've been able to walk from the off

I always careful though after a lovely frenchie who'd been doing well, and seemed very confident suddenly became reactive when we were on a walk with zero history or warning. She never did it again but clearly we pushed it too far. Looking into trigger stacking is helpful to show how lots of small things can add up

A dog in a new home is an unknown. You've got no idea what their hates, personality or fears are. I could tell you that one of mine for example hates those swinging signs outsides shops, another a certain type of dog, knowing that im concious when we are passing and theyve got the trust in me. With a new dog you are never quite sure what they are thinking so a cautious approach is best, I've seen lots of failures from people who've tried to push it too early and ended up damaging their trust jn the dog and returning them.

There does need to be some patience that a dog won't arrive fully grown

The 3-3-3 rule isn't something to be adhered to or something you have to do, it's more a guide to what to expect from a rehome/rescue dog. But it's a guide, some dogs settle more quickly, some take much longer. I'd say for my own rescue/rehome the 3-3-3 was fairly accurate. In the first three or so weeks my dog was as good as gold, then as he started to feel more at home and relaxed his mischievous side came out! But I'd say it took him 3-6 months before he did things like roll on his back to have a good I'm happy back scratch and for him to be daring and claim the sofa for his own.

The 333 rule is just to give you a rough timeline of how your dog will settle, and to not expect too much of them before those times.
Sadly, some people do return dogs to rescues after too short a time as they have had anxiety about being in a new place with a new routine, peed on the floor because they don't know where to ask to be let out, things like that.

My parent's adopted a greyhound, and he was settled within hours of getting to his new home and it was like he had always lived there. They got him from Dogs Trust, and they rang after 3 days, 3 weeks, and 3 months, to see how he was getting on.

Some dogs take longer to settle, and for their true selves to come out.

Good luck with your new pooch 🐶

We have fostered dogs for a long time for various rescues, some settle well, pick up our routine quickly and are a complete joy to look after.

Sometimes they are traumatised but don't show it for the first few days and the best way of putting it is they have a "breakdown" at some point and that's when their behaviour or reactions become challenging. They have to decompress and be given time to be a "normal", confident dog again.

We have had dogs from all kinds of backgrounds, all sizes, breeds, flavours and everything in between. They are all amazing, a fair few have had 4 or 5 homes before they get to us and some come as urgent referrals as the next stage for them is they may have to put to sleep if no home is found (from the dog warden via a rescue). We have been bitten, dealt with resource guarding, severe separation anxiety, car anxiety, damage to soft furnishings, damage to doors but we also get lots of lovely cuddles and a nice warm fuzzy feeling when a dog is ready to go on to their fur-ever home. Some have been failed fosters and we have adopted them, the older ones who struggle to be homed.

The dog that I often think about, who I felt I let down at the time, was the big double coated girl who was as cool as a cucumber, accepting of everything we did to her, grooming/stroking no complaining, no barking, walked perfectly on the lead and, we believed, was taking everything in her stride until I looked carefully at her one day from across the room and realised her big, thick coat was hiding a dog who was shaking. She had been with us for several weeks by then. She had never whimpered, or showed aggression, her recall was en pointe, her house manners were perfect, she ate everything put in front of her, but under all that gorgeous thick fur was a fearful girl. A valuable lesson to me.

So, yes, some dogs can join a household and settle straight in, but my experience is, if they do, still keep a good eye on them in case they crash later on.

I’ve only heard of this “rule” once before, relatively recently. My parents rehomed a dog 18 months ago. The shelter wasn’t honest about the background or behaviour, refused to have the dog back when it showed itself. They’ve kept the dog, but the ramifications of doing so are enormous.

I think you got lucky with your girl, and that’s great. I have rescues and the 333 thing is nonsense, lol. Some dogs take way longer to settle in than others, you need to go at their pace.

The 333 is more of a minimal guideline in my opinion, to ensure adopters are giving their new dogs enough time to settle in, I’ve seen it so many times where traumatised rescues don’t immediately behave like perfectly trained dogs and get returned to the rescues! Every dog is different and it’s amazing your dog is so settled already, the consistency and routine you’ve set is probably a massive contributor to that too, but other dogs that have gone through different things may not have settled the same way

You don’t have to be some sort of neuro wotsit to misunderstand things. We don’t all understand what everyone else says all the time. It doesn’t make us neuro anything, just a normal person. You are a normal person 🙄

Never heard of that! Some settle in quickly, some don’t. You go with what the individual dog needs, not a prescribed timetable.

pinkstripeycat
actually - i am not - I appreciate your assumption- but a formal
Psychiatric assesment via the nhs identified - its not that I am trying to be a special snowflake - but its the learning curve I am on - the realisation that comminky I can mis read things in the world . So yes I am neuro atypical .

pinkstripeycat Unless you know more than a psychiatrist that is
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I was jot make excuse it was more me acknowledging that i need to work with things at times.

It’s not nonsense it’s a rough guide of how long some dogs take to settle. Personally I think it’s much much longer than that guide suggests. For mine it is more like 3 weeks to decompress, 3 months to start to settle and 3 years before she finally came out of her shell.

So I would suggest your situation is one of the following things.

1. you have a happy confident dog who hasn’t suffered much trauma and has happily settled quickly.
2. your dog is following typical patterns of settling but because they are still relatively new to you, you don’t actually know them well enough yet to know how well they have settled. If you had asked me six months in how mine had gone I might have had similar thoughts to you. Then the wheels fell off and I realised quite how much I didn’t know about dogs and dog behaviour. Now almost 5 and a half years since her arrival I can recognise that it took over 3 years for her to really start to trust me enough to let me see how frightened and confused she was. She still NEEDS me in a way my other dog doesn’t. To people who can’t or choose not to properly read their dogs it can quite easily seem like all is ok when actually it isn’t.

So I really wouldn’t be as scathing of a guide designed to assist you. In two years you might well look back to see that you were not as clued up as you think you are!

YABU, it’s a guide, like humans, all animals are different.

The guide is to show that people shouldn’t expect to take an animal into their home and expect it to be perfectly settled on day 1. I’ve worked in rescue and some people will bring a dog or cat back within days because it doesn’t settle instantly or perform like they want it to.

Some animals take minutes, hours, days, weeks or years to settle.

You are a hero.