Advice please, posted here for traffic

[Prontehpronto]

Me and a colleague have been talking to each other for months now everyday for sometimes up to an hour or more even if we have been working from home. We are both married. We talk about work but mostly personal stuff about our lives, not our respective spouses, and laugh alot. Think we are defo attracted to each other as there are looks when we are in the office and lots of accidental touches. So I've realised a line has probably been crossed. I'm unhappy in my marriage which is no excuse. Anyway, he is leaving for a better job, his last day in the office isn't his last working day but I'm not sure if I should go in, it's our last day in person together and think things are escalating abit with the looks and flirting etc so not sure if it appropriate for me to see him in person again. I have valued our connection and speak to him more then I speak to anyone else, so wonder if I will regret not seeing him in person again. But think it's best to cut all contact with him incase things get more physical (I find him very attractive but we are both married). He called a few times today but I missed his calls then messages him to say I'm busy. Saddened by it all and bit confused.

I’m not sure what you’re confused about to be honest. You sense an attraction to him which may be mutual and you feel you feel that you’ve crossed a line.

I’d take a step back, focus on your marriage and what’s wrong there. I suspect your dissatisfaction with your marriage may coincide with your flirtation with this guy, the grass always looks greener where you water it. In any event you need to make a decision about your marriage either to reinvest in that relationship or to end it, and to do that you need a clear head. It’s not unusual for someone to realise their marriage is over when their head is turned by someone else, but that doesn’t mean the other flirtation is more real or feasible than your marriage.

Treat is as what it is, a workplace flirtation that’s got out of hand. I’d not go in for his last day, you’re just asking for trouble. Decide what you want in relation to your marriage and see whether you have a future there.

You are at to top of a very slippery, messy slope.

It's better to get off the top of that slope for now and focus on your marriage (as in, what you want to do about that).

Sounds like it's a good job he's leaving. Keep away and think about why you have crossed this line! If you are unhappy in your marriage, you need to address that rather than looking elsewhere for validation and attention.

You know it is wrong and I don't think anyone is going to give you the justification you are seeking to see him face to face.

Work on the issues in your marriage, figure out what you want to happen with that and not on seeking thrills and validation from another man.

Back off and leave him alone

Don't go in, block his number and cut it all off immediately. You are playing with fire.

Are you unhappy in your marriage because you're paying all your attention to someone else, or is there something else going on that you haven't mentioned? It sounds harsh but as you've asked for advice... I wouldn't advise anyone I knew to go and see him on his last day if you're worried about something happening. It already sounds like some sort of emotional affair and it's entering dangerous waters, which is why you've missed his calls. I'd say you know already you need to cut contact, figure out your marriage and work out if you can fix it.

There’s no need for you to go in - ultimately you’ll only be doing it to see him “one last time” which you know isn’t the right choice, and isn’t going to make you feel any better. If you’ve both been flirting and touching whilst being married then he’ll know exactly why you’re now pulling away, it’s not going to be some sort of a sad mystery to him wondering why his nice colleague hasn’t come to wave him off and exchange numbers to stay in touch.

Thanks all, will not go in, would like to stop all contact with him to get some space to sort my life out, should I just continue to ignore him until he leaves or when he tries to contact me tell him I would rather not speak anymore. We have each others personal mobile numbers which isn't great

Thanks all, will not go in, would like to stop all contact with him to get some space to sort my life out, should I just continue to ignore him until he leaves or when he tries to contact me tell him I would rather not speak anymore. We have each others personal mobile numbers which isn't great.

Block his number. You could even change your number if you feel you need to.