To choose aeroplane seats that a family might need?

[IamGrout]

I have a number of hidden disabilities that can make long flights painful and distressing and after a particularly bad long haul night flight a few years ago I have since made sure to book extra legroom aisle seats so I have a little more space and room to move around to alleviate pain in my joints. It is still uncomfortable and I cannot sleep but it is more bearable.

I have booked a holiday to DisneyWorld in Florida this summer for me, DH and DS15. I have spoken to British Airways and they have arranged extra legroom seats for me which is great and I am very grateful to them for this. On the way out they have allocated bulkhead seats which are the ones where a baby bassinet can be used. I queried it as I was worried that it will be a flight full of families and someone with a baby might need those seats. The Customer Service Assistant said it was fine as those seats are meant for disabled passengers or those with babies. On the return flight which is a night flight, they have allocated an extra legroom seat (31C on the attached picture) which has no seat directly in front. I think this is brilliant as I will have so much more space to move about without disturbing anyone but will I feel too exposed to be able to sleep? And from experience people will walk into me/kick my legs/stand in that space. Also DH is 6'4" with long legs and as he would be in a standard seat I am sure he would end up encroaching on my space or I would feel bad for him and offer to swap (then really regret it). Seats 31D/E/F, which are bulkhead with space for a bassinet, are currently available. I don't know which will be best. Has anyone here experience of these seats and can offer advice? What would do choose?

For the poll
I am unreasonable = stay in 31A/B/C
I am not unreasonable = swap to 31D/E/F

I don’t understandings OP at all can’t you just pay for extra legroom seats if they are available?

What is the issue if they are available and you can pay?

Pay extra for DH too as he is 6ft 4!

Why on earth are they accommodating your whole family in "special" seats though? You should have the seat you need and your DH should sit with your son somewhere else. That's what we do. What if another disabled person needs one of those seats? But hey as long as you all get to sit together and feel like you got an upgrade without paying for the legroom your other family members want, who cares, right?

If the bassinet is not being used people will definitely use that space to walk and cross to the aisle.

Is that 'the wall' - I flew BA a few years ago to the States and I booked that seat. There were 2 kids and a mum beside me - but I felt absolutely no guilt because I wasn't doing a long haul cramped. You keep your seats, the airline will accomodoate the baby if needs be.

Stay where you are. You might get a family try and be cheeky and request them but stay firm and say no.

Airline I used to work for you had to pay extra for bulkhead seats. I would often get CF passengers asking me to go over and move the people who had paid for the seats and I would tell them they did not have to move, they were welcome to go over and ask them themselves but it was the passengers discretion.

One CF in particular offloaded himself and his 3 wives off an overbooked flight because he didn’t want them sitting next to other men. 🙃Que a long delay and a security search had to be done.

I would never put my babies in a bulkhead bassinet. Never get cleaned and not very safe at all. I once had an passenger arguing with me because I wouldn’t let her put her 3 year old in one.

Don't ask us, ask your dh! If he wants more room because of his height book the 3 seats. If he's happy with a standard seat book the other one

I have spoken to British Airways and they have arranged extra legroom seats for me which is great and I am very grateful to them for this.

For free?

Not sure of the aircraft type but I suspect the grey block just marks a zone divider or bulkhead..the gap is possibly a bit tight for people to use it as a routine cross aisle, but yep, it might be an issue on some flights.

Someone suggested booking 30A/B but those could well be adjacent to an emergency exit so any declared mobility restrictions might mean the OP can't book them.

Cut to the chase...if the OP needs the "good" seats they shouldn't feel guility about booking them.

Is the aircraft an Airbus A350 or a Boeing 787?

If it's the latter, then nine-abreast in economy is going to be the long haul flight from hell anyway if you are any wider than a Smurf.

Don't overthink it. Book/Reserve what you need. First come first served. But bear in mind you can't have everything perfectly meeting your wishes.

I am definitely overthinking this. I have severe anxiety and am going around in circles.

In response to posters

• In the hope that I manage to sleep for a few hours I want to avoid being in a seat where people will bump into me and wake me. I have been on a flight where people pushed into me regularly as the other side had someone large in it. It hurt and I was very sore afterwards.
• Good point about the other side of the plane having less footfall, I shall see if the other side is available.
• I do need to be less of a people pleaser. I will not give my seat to DH or worry that people with babies need the seats more (I didn't realise that the bassinets were so rubbish but envisage that the extra space would help people with small children).
• I am quite happy to pay to upgrade all three of us to extra legroom. Paying doesn't make any difference to my dilemma though.
• Need to be in the same row as DS is AUHD and DH and I tag team to entertain/keep an eye on him.

I just want to give myself the best chance of a flight where I am not exhausted, stressed, or in pain.

Charter a private plane. Best option for you and your family.

Why are you being a martyr? You have a medical need for extra legroom that is as valid as a tall person's or a family with a baby. First come first served.

I totally agree that it is the best option. Let me know when you have booked and paid for it and I shall be there.

The system is that people who make more effort and/or spend more money get the desirable seats. YANBU to have those seats!

The fact that you have severe anxiety is enough of a reason to have to sit where you want. I have it too and the thought of being cramped for 10 hours in a window seat at the detriment to others as well as my own mind would be enough for me to book and stick to my own seat. Even if a family of loud wailing Mexicans (this actually happened) tried to make out it was their row of seats. Tough titty.

I would switch to DEF to avoid being bumped. We’ve had those on a couple of flights recently and no one walked across us, and it was nice being able to get up without asking someone else to move (yes, even our own family members). They’re slightly annoying as everything has to go in a tiny pocket or up in the overhead lockers, as there’s no seat in front, but I think you’d have that with your current seat.

It’s lovely that you’re thinking of others, but you have as much need for those sears, as others.

I don’t do long haul flights. I would never choose to go to Disney World either! The disregard for the environment and the rampant consumerism is not something we as parents want to promote.

I don't mean to be a martyr. I suppose I do feel like a fraud as my disabilities are hidden so people don't see the pain I am in. Even on this thread, despite saying I am disabled and in pain, some people are still insinuating that I am selfish and taking advantage. I know there are nasty trolls on here but they exist IRL too and it wears you down.

Tricky. If there are babies on the flight they will be near the bassinets. Babies don't stay in the bassinets for the whole flight, they usually have mothers fussing around with bottles and feeds. Also think about where you will put your bags as there isn't any underseat storage in front of you and the tray and screen are in the armrest. On the other hand you won't find people walking in front of you and if you get lucky with no babies or just sleeping ones this will be very comfortable.

The aisle seat does look a bit exposed but a huge plus is not having a passenger in front of you who decides to recline for the whole flight, as I once did. Your DH might not be so lucky.

edited to say I've just seen these are standard seats, do you mean economy? We had Premium Economy and still found them a bit tight. Go for the bassinet row.

I would just make sure that you are OK and not overthink it.
There are a few concerns with 31C, although the bulkhead seat should be OK.
Are you sure you do not have an exit row seat ( door over the wing)? You are not allowed in there if you are disabled. This is in the event of emergency landing.
Are you sure you are not near the toilet? It won’t be very restful if you are.
If there is an empty space there children will gather there. I had this on a flight to Florida, years ago. I was wearing sandals and one child kept treading on my toes.
Unless you are the most laid back person in the world, don’t bank on getting much sleep.