To want to delete youtube ?

[diggitydoo]

I have a 13 year old and a 16 year old. They both have a learning disability, so aren't massively like other teenagers of their ages , don't have much social life and are a little younger than their years really.

Over the holidays I've been increasingly horrified at the amount of you tube they watch. I've been fairly relaxed about it up until now as I know there is good stuff on there, but over the holidays watching over their shoulders they are mainly just watching utter crap, just vacuous AI slop, crappy weird content getting punted at them. They don't seem to be able to control it at all and I'm done blaming them. I feel as if I'm sitting looking at them smoke and not preventing it. I've tried installing scroll blockers on their phones so they don't get the shorts, tried manually sitting with their phones and deleting history, dismissing shorts by hand so that they don't get so much shit punted at them, but it's like shovelling snow. They are just watching compilations of shorts. They will maybe start off by watching something ok, but within a couple of videos it's just mindless crap. I can't seem to control the YouTube app at all on the telly either, even if I manage to limit the shorts and delete the history, the subscriptions tab is just full of shorts still.

I've tried talking to them abut the difference between the YouTube brain slop and watching television on Netflix/ iplayer but they don't get it, just get really angry at me. They are obviously addicted and it's horrible to see. We're just in constant battles about it, and if I try to get them to turn it off then the meltdowns ensue. I feel like I have to sit with them and try and curate it for them, which I don't have time to do. I don't have much respite and the time my kids watch telly is literally my only downtime. and I also feel I'm impacting on their independence if I'm babysitting what they are watching. They barely get any independence because of their learning disabilities, so they actually really value there time watching telly alone. and I also don't want to judge their choices necessarily, they don't need to just watch things I think are ok. I'm aware that they can choose to watch things I don't like. But the you tube slop is beyond that, it's just weird fucking brainless shit. I just want to delete the you tube app off their phones and the telly and be done wth it. They can still watch Netflix, iplayer, now tv etc! They have lots of content (and of course real fucking life!)

My eldest in particular is distraught and really angry at me talking about deleting YouTube and it's causing lots of arguments and anxiety. He really values it. But he's watching like 4 hours a day unless I'm constantly at him getting him to turn it off and help him do other things, I'm verging between just ripping the plaster off or trying to find some kind of middle ground.

Help

If you get a kids account for them, you can ban certain channels to help limit the crap that they watch.

I deleted YouTube and the difference in my son was like night and day. Do it.

They both have a kids account, with as many filters as I can. I also have their histories turned off and regularly go in and dismiss shorts. It's still rubbish.

Rather than deleting it completely could you put time limits on it OP? Do you use a parental control apps?

Ooh I've stopped my youngest watching YouTube shorts. I've explained it's bad for his brain and addictive. He was angry at me until his barber agreed with me. Now he's heard another adult say it too he seems more okay about it.

Is there anyone else who can also speak to them about it?

For us saying no shorts as a blanket rule has worked. He can watch other things but I find he's less mindlessly addicted to regular videos. If he wasn't accepting of that, then my next step would have been uninstalling it from all devices.

Stopping a 16 year old using YouTube is ridiculous. The majority of teens get their media from YouTube now not TV. I’m 50 and I manly watch YouTube. You are being very very controlling

In our house, YouTube goes offline completely every day at 5pm which means that on school days, the kids can only really watch 1h of it. I will admit I am not entirely sure how he did it but my husband set it up on the wifi so that after 5pm, Youtube no longer works on our network and no one can watch it. Maybe that could be a compromise for you and your children?

I found myself been drawn too much into YouTube shorts. They are insidious and I think even the "wholesome content" rots a person's attention span.

I can't delete it altogether as there are practical things I use YouTube for. But I have set my phone up so I can only access it for one hour each evening (not sure how I'd stop a disgruntled teenager from switching it back though). I have also set up a YouTube block on my PC with Leechblock.

I've put time limits on the you tube app on their phone , but I can't work out how to put any time limits on the app on the telly.

there's isn't any reliable way to turn off shorts. I've downloaded scroll blockers, I've physically sat for a hour every couple of nights with their phones dismissing shorts to try and limit them being punted at them by the algorithm, but they still manage to find them. or they just end up watching an hour long compilation video of shorts, that is just as bad for turning them into a zombie. They can't control it themselves, They either don't understand or they can't control it, because despite me trying to help them find stuff they want to watch on you tube , within a few videos they've just managed to click on some brain rot. There doesn't seem to be any way of controlling it, it's obviously designed to encourage brainless scrolling.

Big mistake thinking there is "good stuff" on there. Sure if you are searching for something specific from a well known source, but just clicking on videos in your feed is going to give you 99% shite.
I don't let my kids use YouTube as it is just a cess pit.

Could you delete the YouTube app from your telly?

this is my son's opinion! which is why I'm conflicted. He's not a standard teenager, due to learning disability, so does need more protection/ guidance. But still. In his head he doesn't and he's really angry at me. But if I leave it to him then he's just sitting watching weird AI crappy videos for hours and hours. I'm ashamed to say he was averaging 5 hours a day in the holidays. one day even 8 hours! that horrifies me. and that is with me trying my best to motivate him to do other things and asking him to either turn it off or watch a film or something. I just get abuse and anger and conflict.

this is what I am thinking of doing. This is the crux of my AIBU!

grateful for other perspectives, experiences and advice!

We deleted the YouTube app off our TV (much younger kids). They are puzzled by it. I told them it was an automatic update and I can’t get it back, sorry.

They can watch specific YouTube videos found by me, with me, on the family laptop. Or they can go on the TV and watch iplayer, Disney Plus, Netflix. It’s not as if there isn’t plenty to watch and they do have plenty of autonomy!

I am strict with screens otherwise (no iPads, no consoles, no phones, literally just TV) and am thinking of imposing further limits while they are still young (eldest is 7). Like they can only watch live CBBC or CITV. I think too much choice leads to them not engaging properly with what they’re watching.

We have a limit on YouTube on my son's phone and the app is removed from all TV's

I am v relaxed about screen time generally and allow my DD to watch pretty much whatever age-appropriate content she gravitates to. But I deleted YouTube Kids and will not allow her to watch it at all anymore. The content is such poor quality and the algo is relentless. My DD watched it for a while and became obsessed with strange things/trends that she saw on YouTube and was watching endless videos of annnoying american personalities/families. Not all of it harmful necessarily - some of it is - but it really is garbage content and a complete waste of time. And it obviously contributes to screen addiction / zombification

I can only get tv through a Roku unit, and I watch Youtube most of the time - history and wildlife docs, political discussions, health, comedy etc. It’s great! I’ve never heard of these ‘shorts’ until this discussion. Can you just not set it to proper programmes?

He is angry at you because he is addicted, not because he values the content. The anger is typical of addiction.
This is very easy for me to say at the moment as my kids are much younger, but I plan to keep them off YouTube as long as I possibly can. Mine are 3 and 4 and all they know that exists is live cbeebies or we'll choose a film together on the weekend from Netflix.
I'm dreading them finding out/seeing lots of YouTube content with friends etc.
I used to be a year 6 teacher and the amount of inappropriate/disturbing content the children in my class watched terrified me.

I have young DS so I'm afraid I'm no help. But it's seeing threads like these that made me delete youtube on everything in the house. DS is an age where we just told him it stopped working one day and he just accepted it thankfully. He was watching all sorts of mindless crap on it. Nothing with harmful or inappropriate content but just mind numbing shit that would just auto play onto the next mind numbing thing. I genuinely felt like it was rotting his brain so we got rid of it. No help to you of course but genuinely thank you and others for the awareness.

Good luck! Managing this with teens must be hard

My 2 are much younger- 7 & 9, but we banned YouTube entirely about 4 years ago and have never regretted it for a second.

And you are showing how rude & ignorant you are 🤷🏻‍♀️. I don't think much of your parenting regarding this either.

I am relatively relaxed about things like screen time, but YouTube is, and will remain, banned in my house. It’s not just full of crap, it is actively damaging to developing brains. I know several people who banned it after their kids had used it for a while and they described the period afterwards as being like an addict having their drugs removed. Physical as well as mental “withdrawal symptoms”. But they ALL got over it and things are much better since then. Stand firm, OP. It won’t be fun but it will be worth it.

It's not 'controlling' it's 'parenting' at 16 they often need help with this shit. Let alone when they have additional needs. Don't be afraid to act like a decent parent. Some people accuse you if being 'controlling' because they're lazy parents, your son will because he wants his own way 😂. Keep doing the right thing & pay no attention to the 'controlling' bollocks.

poster upthread said her DH had been able ti block it after 5pm on their network. Maybe try to find out more about that.

its all very addictive & easy - I don't 'do' Facebook, but I have friends that send me reels. I can get 'lost' in there easily for an hour or more. it's too easy when they 'slay to play' the next one & the next one...

it's understandable that kids/teens lack the self discipline to limit themselves (especiallyND) & don't find other activities as interesting/engaging.

YouTube is banned in my house- unless they need it for school.or something.

Iplayer is much better. Netflix is ok.

Normal TV the best- but understand there isn't usually anything good on.

What I've found is- even just watching a movie on a normal TV channel. Where they have to wait for adverts to finish is so much better for them.

They're learning so much more patience.

Rather than watching 30 seconds shorts back to back- is no better than them being on TikTok. Most of the shorts are from TikTok.

Never knew I'd be grateful for adverts.