Have you achieved whatever you thought you would have by now?

[166lady]

Hey all

I am a 29 year old mum to 2 young kids (under 3) and I am starting my healthcare profession again after 2 years off.

I have a good nest egg saved and am looking forward to getting my identity back abit after giving so much to my kids.
I always thought by 30 I’d be abit further on than where we are now (in a small house and nowhere near ready to buy our forever home yet).
Have you achieved what you wanted to achieve let’s say if someone had asked you 5 years back? I am so grateful for my life and the love I have, and I try to keep my mind centred on that!

I'm the same age as you. In some ways I'm ahead of where I thought I'd be - my partner and I bought our forever home last year and that was much earlier than I'd expected. But in other ways I'm behind - I'd hoped to start my family about now, but I'm just not quite at a point in my career where it makes sense to do so. If we had kids now we'd really struggle to pay the mortgage (either because of the cost of childcare or because of lost salary if one of us cut back on work). I'm really sad about that but trying to be pragmatic and remind myself that in a few years we should be in a more financially robust position. I just feel ready to be a mum now!

Best of luck to you going back to work!

I'm 62. I have a wonderful 17yo son, a career, a mortgage-free house, a moderate pension. I'm happy and busy.

No partner though. I hadn't planned to be alone when ds flies the nest. I'm not sure it's an issue but I'll work it out. I have so much.

Your life is not a competition. You are happy with it and that's the only thing that matters.
When I was young and idealistic, I thought I'd be married by 25, have kids by 27. I am in my 40s now and haven't achieved either of these things but what I did achieve brought me a lot of joy. I have a big and beautiful life full of adventure. And I can't imagine giving this up for the life I thought I should have had when I was younger.

Yeah I think so. Career good, marriage good, dc thriving, DH and I still healthy and in decent shape and have a generally nice life. Have a lovely home but I think our next will be our forever home. Would like more in the way of savings etc but the teenagers are becoming ever more self sufficient and in coming years more of our income will be spare to sort these things out. I’d say I’m on track, not quite finished yet but turning 40 next year and looking forward to life being a little less full on!

I have achieved more than I expected !

I didn’t have a plan but Im super proud of myself about to change career at 50. I’ve raised two fab men, when they clean up!

At 30 I was renting a lovely house didn’t own until I was 38, and then it was a renovation and I’ve lived in renovations ever since at 50 just about to start this new one we’ve lived in for 3 years.

You sound in a perfect place and sit back and enjoy what life brings you. I don’t love my 40s hormones and surveys kind of flooded me, so I’m glad to have left that era behind.

Exceeded it and I realise how lucky I am.

I'm 27 (28 very soon!) and I planned to be dead by 18, so anything for me is an achievement to be honest 😅

But to properly answer your question, I don't think I've achieved anything spectacular. Life hits me with shit and I just move through it

As I've got older I realise that life doesn't work out as you thought it might...as Mike Tyson said "everyone has a game plan until you get punched in the face".

Personally I came from a background where you left school asap, you got a job, you didn't like it you jacked and got another one (there has always been full employment if you wanted to work where I came from). You try a few things then settle for a job. Get a house. Get a family. Grow old. There were no milestones no career path. You could get a skill/trade and earn well. There was no way you went to university.

Personally I bucked the trend. Sixth form, A levels, but of course, not uni... never ever an option. Worked in the corporate world, got fairly far given my background. Got fed up and jacked (taking redundancy the 8th time it was offered in 15 years). Set myself up as a gardener. Got arthritis so retired from that 55. Don't really need to work but I have a tiny part time job.

Have a nice house, which was our first house but extended, in a nice area. Married 32 years.

So given that I had mates who were murdered over drug deals, knew all sorts of criminals, came from a place that saw some real violent fights on a regular basis. To continue the boxing analogy...I'm ahead on points

You’re only 29! By that age I was married, owned little house I didn’t really love, had been in my dream career for 3 years but it hadn’t got to the good bit by that point. I didn’t have any hobbies, didn’t have time or money for them. At 30 I lived abroad, bought my horse, the good bits of my career began to happen. In my mid-late 30s I bought my forever home and had my babies. In my 40s I found my current hobby, my obsession, and climbed to the top of it. In my 50s I am now an acknowledged expert in my sport travelling round the world doing it. I’m still married to my lovely husband who’s been with me through all of this. I don’t look back at 29 and think ‘gosh, that was a good age!’ Honestly, I had so many good things to come!

I didn't have any plan but have ticked all the boxes most people measure life by. I'm not sure that mattered to me but I have noticed a correlation between the friends that have meltdowns at milestone birthdays and ticking those boxes so maybe it is deeply ingrained in people my age (50), not so much the youth of today.

What are the boxes you are expected to tick past 50? Retire, die? I need to invent some more boxes!

I'm 52, haven't achieved anything. Spent years caring for dm, then dc and now my dp.

No career, no partner, don't own my own home, no pension or savings.

Nope , I wanted a house, husband and kids by now at 35. I’ve got the house and am with the love of my life as I met him at 33 but chemo paid price for the kids dream. We need help but I’m not holding out hope.

Oh gosh, no! My mum got a new partner, changed careers, started going to politics and philosophy lectures, travelled the world, bought and renovated a house by herself and generally started living her best life after 50. She is two years away from retirement and already has a bucket list of things to do with her free time!
I mean, you could retire and die but there are so many more exciting things to do instead.

In many ways I'm ahead of where I thought I'd be. At 60 mortgage paid on 6 bedroom house, have a 7 bedroom holiday home in France close to a lovely beach. Also recently bought a holiday home right on promenade in UK for weekend and summer use. I have 12 buy to let's and now retired from teaching run them myself. I had a teaching career I loved but retired from at 57. I have a job I love. I'm a foster carer to 2 soon to be 3 teen boys with learning disabilities. I have 3 d adult children and 2 DGC all of whom I get in well with and see regularly. I have a happy marriage and no financial worries. The only downside is my health is not great neither is DH's either. Certainly growing up in working class family I never thought I'd be so well off financially.