For considering taking money from my friend?

[Shmee1988]

I was due back to work today, first day of the year after 2 weeks off. I had organised with my good friends daughter to watch my children (DS6 & DS13). It was only a half day, 9:30- 2:30. The girl that was supposed to watch them sits for me often, shes a lovely girl, 17 years old and very sensible. My boys adore her. I pay her for the time she is here. Anyway, my friend confirmed with me last night she would drop her daughter off at mine for 9am. I got up and ready for work this morning, went out to de-ic the car, made sure she had all the snacks she likes for the day, made the kids a lunch box each so all she had to do was sit and chill, play with my youngest. 9am came and went this morning and she didnt turn up. Rang her, no answer, called her mum (my friend) no answer. 9:30 my friend calls me said that they all over slept and would be with me in 10 mins, I called my boss and explained, no problem. 10 minutes later, another call from my friend who says her daughter is point blank refusing to get up and out of bed and isnt coming. Its nearly 10am. Obviously it was too late to try and find another sitter at short notice and I could not WFH as both kids home and I deal with clients mainly on the phone. The girls mum has offered to pay me for my days lost wages. I cant really afford to lose the money but I also dont feel that accepting money from my friend is the right thing to do as its not her fault. We are having a bit of a (friendly) stand off about it. Should I take the money?

YABU- Dont take the money, shes a good friend and it was not her fault.

YANBU- Take the money, you organised this with her and she should have showed up.

But how does it teach the daughter anything other than her mother will pay for her not fulfilling her obligations? If it was the daughter paying, it would be different.

I couldn’t take my friends money, no way, I can’t beleive you’re even considering putting your hand out; get proper child care from a proffesional in future,

How does she learn that by her mum paying??

No, sorry, I wouldn't take the money but it's very kind of her to offer. Wouldn't sit right for me.
Annoying though, I guess the 17 year old no longer wants to babysit?

Well whatever you decide, she's shown she's no longer reliable to be a babysitter and make alternative arrangements in future.

When you make a commitment, you stick to it.

No I wouldn’t accept the money. It’s not your friends fault. May be suggest a treat of a coffee instead.
i would also look for permanent childcare.

I'd not take the money but I'd be letting the friend know that you'll be seeking reliable childcare in the future so won't be asking her daughter again. If she was a sensible 17 year old, she'd have not refused to get out of bed when she knew she'd made commitments.

I wouldn’t accept the money but
equally I would have made my daughter go and babysit if they was wha she agreed to

now she is unreliable and you won’t ever use her again - I hope

No I wouldn't let my friend pay.

How much would your loss of earnings be? Do you work for yourself or have you taken the day as annual leave or unpaid?

My initial reaction is that no I wouldn't take the money from my friend but if you've actually lost pay and will struggle as a result then take it and tell your friend you're only taking it because you can be without the pay.

Unless there is a drip feed that she’s a millionaire and you’re at risk of losing your home then no I couldn’t take the money from a friend. That’s one of the risks of not professional child care.

Id also be working on making the kids slightly more responsible for themselves. At those ages I’d 100% expect they could understand this is a really important that you entertain yourselves in another room and DS13 is in charge.

Agree with the above. I didnt take the money from my friend, it definitely wasnt the right thing to do. She said I was being stubborn. I won a facial for 2 in a raffle and I took her as my guest and she treated me to a doughnut (all sorted).
Her daughter is usually very reliable but has recently got a bf and has been up on the phone to him until all hours so I guess she was tired and let her priorities slip.
For the ones who suggest leaving the kids whilst I WFH, not possible for a number of reasons. My ds13 has adhd and my ds6 is too young to expect him to occupy himself for 5 hours.

Could the friend have minded them? Did she offer?

I wouldn't take it but I'd never hire her again.

Yeah, she did offer but I knew she was tired and felt bad accepting. It all came good in the end, except I have to work my day off tomorrow to cover the lost wages.

And this is why you should never organise through a third party. You should have delt directly with the daughter. Not her mother.

I did deal directly with the daughter. It was all agreed with her. Her mum is my best friend so she texted me to confirm and then she was the one who rang me when her daughter wouldn't get out of bed.