Over Christmas, my ex and I organised what I thought was a pretty reasonable split with minimal handovers for our kids, age 10 and 7. However, for the first time, my ds10 said he wants to spend more time with me. We had a chat and he said in future he only wants to go between houses once a week or so during the holidays.
Usually exh has the kids EOW and Monday nights and some of the holidays. He has a girlfriend who also has kids and will generally only have our kids when his girlfriend has hers- they don’t live together and haven’t met each others kids. So for Easter he told me he’s only available the first half of the Easter holidays.
But for a 2 week holiday for example this will mean splitting the middle weekend in two and swapping one of the other weekends, which minimises the kids moving around. He’s now said he doesn’t want to split the Easter weekend, i need to collect them on the Thursday before and have them for that weekend and the week after, and he would have them on the last weekend of the holidays as per the normal schedule. But that’s exactly what ds10 doesn’t want to do.
I’ve always worked round him, because he has a preference. However, he works term time only, and only minimally during term time, CMS says he earns £5k a year, so, he doesn’t pay maintenance. So I’m getting fed up of working round him, when as he doesn’t work during the holidays technically he could have them whenever, i have the kids most of the time and I’m paying for almost everything on my own!
Sorry if this is confusing. I know I cannot make him have them more but can I insist that he doesn’t have them on the last weekend of the holidays, for example, because ds10 is getting fed up of it? Even if this means less time with their dad? Ds10 will be 11 soon and will start secondary in September and I expect will start voicing his opinion more and more.
please can I ask that this doesn’t turn into a maintenance discussion, I have already flogged the horse with the CMS, recently.