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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I being over sensitive?

9 replies

WDWY · 04/01/2026 23:10

It's the third time my MIL has criticised the upkeep of my houseplants when she's come to stay.

She looked at a houseplant and said "oh dear that need some water" and then laughs. And then procedes to talk in a baby voice to another houseplant and says "poor you, are you being starved of water too?". Then it's "I think I might take back home that spider plant I gave you to see if I can revive it". Followed by "thank god I water that plant in the guest bedroom when I come, as it's the only time that plant ever gets watered" (not true). She even said something very sarcastic like "you know plants do actually need water to grow" or something like that.

To be fair to her, the houseplants have been more neglected lately since having my third baby (who has been in and out of hospital). But I just feel it's a bit tone deaf and she's forgetting that she's a guest in my house and should be more polite? She's otherwise a lovely lady so am I being too sensitive?

OP posts:
mynameiscalypso · 04/01/2026 23:13

My MIL says this kind of thing but it’s totally true and fair enough! We do actually sometimes give her plants to take home to revive because we don’t have the time, skill or inclination to do it ourselves.

I’m sorry your baby has been so unwell, I hope they’re on the mend now.

lovegoodcoffee · 04/01/2026 23:14

I'd be grateful your houseplants least get watered!

NestaArcheron · 04/01/2026 23:15

Too sensitive- you said yourself they’re neglected. If she’s not picking at anything else I wouldn’t even blink. I can see why if she’s normally lovely it might come across badly, but I don’t think she means harm.
My MIL bought me a shower set that “helps you lose weight” - not that it is even possible from a shower gel and is clearly a fad, but that’s the opposite end of the scale of what some mother in laws can be like - I’d take the dr Quinn of spider plants over mine any day 🤣

TwattyMcFuckFace · 04/01/2026 23:15

Sorry, I know it's annoying for you but it does sound quite funny 🤣🤣

Make it your DH's job and tell her to get on at him.

MJEBinAthens · 04/01/2026 23:17

Some people have green fingers and others don’t! Get over it… it’s not that big a deal!

Notdanishsusan · 04/01/2026 23:17

Watering plants is a some responsibility job in my book. You can’t water other people’s! What if you’d already done it? Most plants hate being overwatered.

Baguetteandcheese · 04/01/2026 23:18

My MIL did this about everything in my house. As she is retired and has fuck all to do I suggested she did it then.

Endofyear · 04/01/2026 23:24

Well if your plants are looking a bit neglected, she's not wrong is she! I would just laugh and agree, tell her you're busy keeping her grandchildren alive!

youalright · 04/01/2026 23:33

This is the sort of thing you laugh of or blame your husband for or better yet don't have houseplants its just an added chore. I think the fact you have recently had a baby and an unwell one at that its understandable you're being over sensitive. Since you said your mil is lovely overall try not to let it bother you and if it does pass the responsibility on to dh then she can discuss it with him

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