Feeling like a failure- housing

[TiredMum2026]

Hi all, feeling so frustabted and crap about our housing situation.

I’m 40 and retrained a couple of years ago to earn more. We’re renting and while we’ve only recently been in a better financial position, it feels abit hopeless. We’re trying to save for a deposit on a house, but it’s so hard when so much of our money goes on rent etc.

It just feels so unfair, we are both working hard, trying to get ahead, and yet every month it feels like we’re stuck paying someone else’s mortgage . We are doing what we can but with 3 children feels so hard.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? How did you manage to save for a deposit while still renting? I’d really appreciate any advice or even just solidarity! It is really getting me down..We are lucky we have been renting same house for 12 years but I live in fear of landlord selling up! Hardly any houses in this area and would really impact childrens school if we had to move put of area.

Your time will come, you’ve just got a lot of conflicting financial obligations, young dc are expensive and as you say, you’ve only just started earning decent money and it takes time to become established with savings etc. It will happen, keep going.

Are you on the social housing waiting list?

How much are you managing to save per month and when are you likely to meet your target for a deposit? Don't forget fees. I think having a target in mind helps tremendously, especially if you can see the progress.

I haven't personally been in this situation (we bought a house then had dc) but my SIL moved across the country with 4 DC to buy a house. She researched cities up north and picked one that was suitable for them, and then found a 3 bedroom house in the suburbs of that city with good bus links etc.

Not for council, where we live you only have a hope of you are facing homelessness! A friend has recently been in a hotel for nearly a year before bing offered a home in the next town. We are West Midlands

We have only just started saving, I have estimated we could save 10 thousand in the next 2/3 years so this amount would be looking at shared ownership unless we can earn more. In my line of work I can apply to undertake independent work so could increase this (would be incredibly busy but needs must)

Have you looked into shared ownership properties? That’s how my husband and I got on the property ladder. You don’t need as much deposit and while you pay mortgage on the part you own and rent on the other part we found it was still cheaper than private renting plus no fear of a landlord selling up.
This put us in a position where we could save more money until we had enough deposit to get a mortgage on the rest of the property so it was then all ours.
We have since moved house and it really worked for us as at the time we lived in an expensive area for housing and never would’ve got on the property ladder.

My circumstances are different to yours OP but you have my sympathies it truly sucks in this country in regards to housing.

I bought last year in London single, but no kids so I truly could throw any additional money in savings, and COVID helped.

Have a look if you’d meet the criteria for the Skipton Building Society Track Record mortgage

Thank you! Will have a look

In honesty, it will always be much harder when you already have kids, especially 3. It's just a bit of a back to front way to approach things, you're in the most expensive stage of life right now but it is what it is.

Shared ownership is a good way to get on the ladder, are either of you key workers? That can open up more schemes etc.

Definitely get on various lists while you save

I am a keyworker so will have a look, thanks