Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Help

3 replies

princesscharming23 · 04/01/2026 22:33

Good evening, please dont give me a hard time im just looking for advice and someone to talk to about my situation.Im 35 and last year we lost our baby boy at 22 weeks. I always said that i wouldn't want anymore children past 35 thats just my choice , and we fell pregnant last year, unfortunately there was no reason found that caused us to loose our baby and the consultant geneacologist said we would have no reason stoppung us from trying again health wise. We have 2 children already also and my daughter is 9 and has autism but is high functioning... we gave just found out we are pregnant again and we sat both of our children down and told them, my daughter took it badly as she did last year but its the things she says that she wishes we died and she will hate the baby , she is sensitive anyway and is really quite jealous woth others being around us im just really struggling with this as I feel a huge pressure that I dont want to hurt her and damage her but we obviously would like to have the baby...... please help 🙏

OP posts:
NotAnotherScarf · 04/01/2026 22:41

I don't have a huge amount of experience with autism but it's here initial reaction. She clearly saw how upsetting last time was (and I am sorry for that dreadful loss) and can't vocalise her fears.

All you can do is keep talking to her explain you won't love her any less but that as she grows up she will be more and more independent and you will still love each other and the baby won't stop that and it will be fantastic if she becomes involved with looking after the baby as she is so grown up and capable and you can still do things just the two of you etc etc.

Remember she is a scared little girl

Smiless · 04/01/2026 22:41

Hi OP. Congrats on this pregnancy 💐😘
I'm so sorry to hear that you lost your baby boy last year and hope that along with your grief and upset you have been able to embrace the joy and wonder of this current pregnancy. You've been through so much.

Regarding darling daughter, please seek professional counselling. It's so worth it. Precious girl could easily have sensed your upset last year and be afraid of that happening again plus all the feelings that normally come with a new baby brother or sister. It's little wonder she's speaking/acting out, it would be an overwhelming position to be in for anyone, especially a little one such as herself.

Its going to work out, you just need to give her a little boost along.

The very best of good luck to you.

Fidgety31 · 04/01/2026 22:43

Maybe should’ve held off telling her so soon

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread