What age is safe for a kid to go for a walk on their own?

[SchoolZooTrip]

Just that really,
and how do you make sure they're okay? Do you give them a phone? An air tag? A prayer?

But asking for a rather more dramatic reason in that my child went for a wander earlier today because he "wanted to get some sunshine". He's usually so anxious not to be away from us that he doesn't even like going into a different room by himself so my immediate thought was that he'd been kidnapped 🙈 Thankfully, we found him round the corner. But it was the scariest few minutes of my life.
It did get me thinking - he seemed to really enjoy the freedom, quite a sudden and dramatic step but obviously at some point his need for it will become more persistent. At his age we were playing out by ourselves but it was a completely different time. How can I give it to him in this day and age without thinking about child traffickers the whole time ?

I can't ask my parents for help on this one - they still worry silly about us 🤦‍♀️. As a child it really annoyed me that they wanted constant reassurance I was okay, but I get it now!

He's 7. I think that's too young but I don't think it's far off when it'll be more appropriate to allow him more freedom (3 years at the most?). He's good with road safety. He knew where he was going but I think could quite easily have got disoriented and lost. I just don't know how I'd do it without worrying. My parents didn't let me do much on my own until I buggered off to uni (and then kept phoning to make sure I was alright) so I don't have them as role models to help.

I’d let my 9 year old if we lived walking distance with proper crossings from anywhere he could meet friends. But he’d have to cross a 40mph with dubious visibility or a 60mph road. My 12 year old, no worries. Any younger would be a clear ‘no’ because two of DS1’s school mates broke their arms when climbing trees unsupervised aged 8 and I (when watching DS2 in the local playground) had to separate two 7 year old twins who were bashing each other (and anyone else their age that came within reach) with splintering wooden sticks, their DM thought I was ‘overprotective’ not letting my then 7 year old play out.

I’m very into free range parenting and kids having independence, but a 7 year old wandering off should be getting a bigger reaction from you.

IMO 7 is too young, unless it's playing out in a quiet cul de sac or play area right next to your house.

And it is way way way too young to be going out without asking a parent.

Ha yep Mumsnet is a different world! My 6-year-old will go round the corner to the postbox on her own and my 8-year-old walks to school by himself - totally normal here! 11-year-old will go to and from friends houses/is capable of getting a train a couple of stops on her own (she does have a phone, but not a smartphone).

Just “out for a walk” obviously depends on where they’re going/time of day/what else is going on nearby (e.g if there’s football on - although that might also be a Glasgow-specific concern!) but a sensible late-primary child should be able to go a short distance without being tracked.

Oh don't worry I reacted big!
But also thought that actually he's communicating a need that I can't just never fulfill. So I'm thinking ahead....

I wouldn't at 7 because I just don't think they can accurately judge things like the speed of a car at this age. So they can't cross the road safely. By 9 or 10 most sensible kids would be fine.

What I find difficult is allowing my DC out in the countryside. She is 11 and wants to go for walks in the woods/fields by herself. It is a completely safe, low-crime, rural area, but if she encountered someone bad she'd be completely alone.

My children would be in a lot of trouble if they just upped and left, especially when they were 7!

11 was the age I was comfortable with. At that age she was confident using her phone, demonstrated road awareness and was honest about where they wanted to go.

Oh yes definitely and we had a good chat about that. As I said it's the first time he's even been willing to be in a different room. But the question will come up again and I want to be prepared

Thank you, that's helpful

The chance of kidnapping by a stranger is 1 in 14 million, in case this is helpful.
The most dangerous thing we can do with our kids... put them in a moving car.

The chance of kidnapping by a stranger is 1 in 14 million, in case this is helpful.
The most dangerous thing we can do with our kids... put them in a moving car.

My literally just turned 10yo (year 5) has been going to the shop (7minites walk away) on his own for since the summer, but I don't let him go to the local park alone - we have a there and back policy for the shop.

The school allows y5 to walk home alone with parental permission and I'm trying to give him more freedom as I do think kids these days do not get enough life experience early on.

He doesn't have a mobile phone. And won't until secondary school, though if prefer he didn't have one then either!

My 10 year old walked and cycled to and from school alone last year. Maybe a 1k walk. Went to shop 5min walk away also tho shop is now a good ten minutes away from new house. He would be allowed do that walk in daytime but isn't keen on the longer route!!

Again, depends on where you live. I had a suffocating mum but was still allowed out from the age of six or seven (semi-rural community). I was given a radius I could play in and a watch, with strict instructions to come home every half an hour unless I went to a friend’s house when I’d call her to tell her where I was.

You’re right, the world has changed - statistics show that crime has actually decreased since we were kids. Thanks to our 24/7 news cycle though, we’re now more acutely aware of it. So we perceive the world to be less safe.

I’ll be teaching my daughter about road safety and stranger danger and then letting her get on with it…with a watch and regular check-ins. Parenting for me is about letting go, bit by bit. They need their freedom and we’re failing to protect them by wrapping them in cotton wool - they’ll be far less able to cope with life in the future if we cosset them now.

Depends on the kid. I used to send my eldest to the shop a few doors down to buy milk when she was 8 or 9. My youngest is 9 and I can’t imagine letting him out unsupervised until he’s 25.

My DD started walking home from school in Y6 - so what, 8 or 9? went to shop alone similar age but not allowed to roam about or go to park until double digits. Going out without telling you - never.

Our clever but distractible DS8 goes to the corner shop solo with a walky-talky GPS device but doesn’t need to cross a road to get there (outer London). I’m not yet comfortable with him crossing the road solo. It’s a big road and there’s a minority of bad drivers, ambulances, etc.

My almost 10yr old over the last year has had increasing independence, she can play out with friends in the local streets, walk to postbox, walk most of way home from school. I let her 7yr old sister do the same if with elder, and I let the 7yr old walk herself round to a friends house that has no roads on the way.

I am really anti tracking kids. I think it’s all about our anxiety and not good for kids. Effectively saying to them ‘you aren’t safe in the world without me’. Imo, you know your kid and they are either ready for various kinds of independence or they are not. Like you are touching on, op, independence is a need in them, that we need to honour, to help them develop confidence and problem solving skills. Kidnapping is a bit of a bizarre thing to worry about tbh, cars much more dangerous. Exposure to unwanted internet content is more of a fear for me.

My DC walked home from year 4, often with friends. Only a 10 min walk though. Went to the park on their own from about 9 or 10. In a mixed area but know lots of people.
They had the odd scrape (couple of fights and some bullying) but nothing too bad. Little and often to build up the skills they need.

From memory, I walked to the village park and shop at about 9 years old. I was getting the bus to town at 11.

At 7, can you give him small amounts of freedom eg being the other side of a largish park if he stays in sight?

Agree it depends on the child and area. It wouldn't be right for my 9 year old as he's young for his age and neuro-diverse. If he just went for a walk without asking me or telling anyone he was leaving the house I'd be furious, that's terrifying.

@LaughingCat This is a really vital point. Lots of posters on this thread assume the world is more dangerous than when they/we were children. The reality is the opposite. The world (assuming you’re in the UK) is safer than when we were children by almost any measure. If you give your children less freedom than you enjoyed yourself, that’s because of your own hang-ups or external social pressure.

@DelurkingAJ Climbing trees (and occasionally falling out of them and breaking bones) and hitting each other with sticks are totally normal childhood activities. Yes the children might get hurt, maybe even seriously. That’s how they learn about risk.

I don't think the chance of being kidnapped is significantly higher than from when you were a kid. The dangers from that kind of evil is more likely to be online or by a family member/friend.

Children in year 6 are typically 10/11.