Cancer red flagged

[jolo252]

I've was red flagged for breast cancer screening nearly 4 weeks ago. My husband is refusing to talk about it, I've mentioned it a few times saying that it feels like he doesn't care but he brushed it off saying he doesn't know what to say. I feel very isolated as I don't want to tell my kids etc as it will hopefully be nothing.
I'm now worried that if I get bad news that he will still not want to talk about it. Although I overheard him talking to his sister telling her I was upset about it, which was incorrect as I'm more upset about how he is going on, I've also came off my HRT so feel very unbalanced atm

Do you mean you've been put on the quick diagnosis because they are querying cancer pathway? Because if so I believe the statistics are very reassuring. I was there 12 months ago and was seen quickly, mammogram, ultrasound and chat with consultant then home feeling very reassured.

I wish I could put the correct statistics to hand but well over 90% of people on the 2 week pathway are fine and those that are caught are generally caught earlier and have better outcomes.

Although I can't comment to help about your struggling husband, sorry! Some men can be quite useless in my humble (and single!) opinion

There isn't really anything to talk about just yet so I suggest you deal with the issues as they arise. I don't know much about your situation but when I was waiting for the scan, I was emotional wreck and probably told my partner about it a thousand times. All he could offer me was "I am sure it will be just fine" which pissed me off no end. But, looking back, what else could he have really said? The issue wasn't him, it was me freaking out over something that hasn't even happened yet.

Is he refusing to talk about it or is he refusing to listen to you? I think they are very different things. If it’s the second then you need to tell him what you are looking for , if it’s the former then I’d be less likely to push him.

I’m married to an avoidant too. It’s pretty shit. I know this sounds weird but I’ve been using Chat GPT to help me communicate with my husband. It’s helping. But it’s a bit shit that I have to do all the hard work.

also there’s a great support in the cancer topic. It helped me loads when I got recalled after a mammogram earlier this year.