I'm 41 and 4 months pregnant; I did IVF and I had losses beforehand. My parents are driving me up the bloody wall. I've explained I am happy about the pregnancy but don't really want to talk too much about it yet and don't want to go into details about plans/ baby equipment until nearer the time. I kept most things from when my DD was born, so there's no huge amount of planning needed.
Both of them have been on about baby equipment for weeks now; this Christmas my dad said he was going to go up in his loft and get things down. I said please don't on my account; I don't want it yet if at all (most of it belongs to my older brother who has three children). This conversation was repeated several times. If they wanted the loft space, I would absolutely understand, but at the time they insisted it was fine, and it hardly seems necessary to sort it all out right now. I find it really upsetting and he can't seem to understand why.
My mum thinks it is silly to be upset, and she keeps hinting that I'm having too many scans/antenatal appointments. I had a bleed at 9 weeks and a scan at the EPU, and when she found out I was having a 12 week scan she 'joked' about how 'this will be the most-scanned baby ever'. I keep not mentioning appointments to her because she will invariably tell me they are 'inconvenient'. This morning she decided to inform me that 'after 20 weeks you will have to stop worrying, that will be the last scan'. I said actually, they'd do growth scans after that, because at 41 they worry about the placenta not working. She didn't like that at all.
I find it so annoying, because my way of coping with the worry would be just not to talk about it too much, not to get too into 'nesting,' and just to keep my mind on other things. My mum has this loudly-expressed belief that she would have been able to get pregnant at 41 and it would have been a really easy pregnancy. I know it might sound as if they're just sweetly excited, but honestly, it does not feel like that; it just feels like them being very pushy.