Shoes and bags from outside coming in, am I weird?

[HelloDenise]

I don't allow people to walk around my house wearing shoes. When I get home I wipe the soles and edges of shoes clean before they get put away. I'd never go outside in slippers.

People spit, puke, wee and do God knows what else on the pavement not to mention what animals do and flick their leftover smoking paraphernalia on the floor.(Not animals for the last one)

I won't put bags on the ground at bus stops or train stations because of this either. I balance them on my knee and just hang on to them if waiting for public transport.

I'm told I'm odd, does anyone else do this? I don't want remnants of piss and puke, old pizzas and other stuff brought into the house.

Are animals allowed in your house?

We don't wear shoes in our house, and I generally avoid putting my bag on the floor of public transport and definitely not in public toilets. Sometimes I have to, and that's fine. But I think wiping shoes every time you've worn them is OTT.

Surely you knew no one else typically does all this?

I know the shoes on/off thing to be contentious on MN. However with that in place why the level of cleaning the shoes?

You cannot prevent germs and bacteria completely. Most people have immune systems that can cope with that, in fact designed for it.

I have only known a few people immono-compromised. They had precautions such as not visiting if you are or have been ill and hospital with no visitors for sometimes during treatment. Otherwise they wanted to live life as far as possible as normal as before cancer. They used bags and put them down. No extra cleaning of those or shoes. They were a bit more careful but quality of life was more important than their brain constantly worrying about whether things were clean.

We’re in a ‘shoes off’ household. I know this brings a very divisive split on mumsnet. I can honestly say I’ve never had anyone visit the house who hasn’t offered to take their shoes off. I have hard floors for most of downstairs, so I’m not overly precious on the hard floors (as they can be mopped) but no shoes on the carpets.

Although I would happily take my shoes off in OPs house, I do think maybe a little excessive to wipe the shoes every time, unless you know you’ve trodden in something you’d rather not have (ie when DD trod in vomit, the shoes got wiped 🤢)

My house is shoe free, and I don't like putting my bag on the floor out of the house either. I don't wipe shoes after wearing, but they go in a rack by the door not in the wardrobe. So I don't think your behaviour is weird!

No I don’t do this. My entire ground floor is hard flooring, but I do take my shoes off when I go upstairs which is carpeted.
And no I wouldn’t ever ask guests to remove shoes, I think it’s rude. I wouldn’t have a dinner party and expect everyone to be in stocking feet! Yuck to the idea of lots of bare feet at the dinner table, I’d rather people wore shoes.

No outdoor shoes on carpet, no muddy shoes/boots past the back door, bonus points for those who use the boot wash (old sink and hose pipe) outside the back door and leave them on the step to dry. There’s a basket of spare slippers there if people want them (snd yes they get washed!)
I like slightly pricy handbag so try to avoid putting them on the floor generally.
I’d say you are a little OTT @HelloDenise and I can’t get my head around how your method works for guests.
I do hate people putting suitcases on beds however, makes me want the whole bed changed!

I think it's rude to expect guests to remove their shoes. Have a mat where they can wipe their feet. Obviously you aren't being unreasonable to not put bags down.

I grew up in a family with old houses, shoes were a must on cold tiled floors.

Personally I think insisting guests must remove shoes is very ungracious and rude. And I have never heard of anyone wiping the soles of their shoes, thats mad!

I have OCD and one of my themes is germs. Feel the same way about shoes and bags (suitcases in particular). Worked hard on the other themes so they don’t bother me in the same way, but 2026 is the year I’m tackling my ‘contamination’ themes. Would recommend spending some time on this as it can escalate if it is OCD causing this and with all due respect, that behaviour isn’t in the spectrum of a standard approach to germs etc. - would highly recommend the resource and app called NOCD

I would never offer to take my shoes off in someone's house, I match my shoes to my outfits and also I don't like walking around in stocking feet. If you asked me to do so I would politely refuse. It just isn't something you can politely ask of people, I'm astonished that so many on here seem to think it is. If your carpets are so precious then don't have guests around.

You don't sound very well actually

I don't allow shoes in my house either. I always keep my handbag on my lap or hang it on a handbag holder if im in a restaurant. But I do rest shopping bags on the floor/road or inside a bus/train.

If it's muddy/raining and footwear is dirty our guests usually offer to remove shoes. But apart from that I don't mind either way. I'm not going to lick the floor so I am not worried about 'germs', but I don't want them treading mud into the house.

Our shoes go on a rack near the door ready to be worn again and don't get wiped unless they are demonstrably muddy.

I probably wouldn't put my handbag on the ground, but it's a small bag and I can't think of a reason I'd need to, it stays on my shoulder.

Me too! I am in London and no one I know wears shoes in the house.

We take off our shoes in the hallway and have a shoe rack. Every so often I will put some of the shoes away and yes, I do give them a quick clean before putting in an upstairs cupboard.

I dont do that but hate shoes in the house.
Dogs poo and wee on the pavement and yeah the poo is removed but there will still be remains! People spit and in some places wee, bird poo, all just gross to be walking round your home in it.

No shoe household here. Everyone that comes up always take their shoes off, we don't have to ask. If someone on the odd occasion has left them on I would not ask them to remove them ( unless they were really dirty ) but I would clean after they left. Re bags I would not put one down on the ground at say a bus station but I would in a cafe

This has been done so many times on mumsnet and it always goes the same way. Always that you’re thick, uneducated and lower class if you prefer shoes off.

My opinion is that shoes off in the house is best, I try not to put my bag on the floor but I wouldn’t wipe my shoes before putting them away.

I grew up in a shoes on house, we also had dogs and other pets and yes we all survived. But tbh even as a child I hated it. Our carpets always got ruined.

My parents also smoked like chimneys in the house and car all day, and I survived that too. But it was still gross and unhealthy.

My grandmother smoked until the day she died in her late 80s, she also survived until old age.

One of my childhood friends grew up in filthy housing animal excrement everywhere, she survived too.

Saying oh we all survived doesn’t necessarily make something right does it?

It’s perfectly normal in many cultures to remove shoes in the home because shoes are unclean. Most workmen these days automatically bring shoe covers.

I think your behaviour is a bit OTT @HelloDenisebut I can empathise.

I’m a shoes off indoors kind of person. I don’t wear my indoor slippers outside - I have crocs by the door in case I need to pop out.

I am careful not to put bags on kitchen worktops. If I do, I clean straight after. I prefer not to put bags on the floor/ground when out but wouldn’t hold onto them at all times. So if at a bus stop with heavy shopping, the bags will go on the ground. My comfort is more important. But when home, those bags will stay on the floor and then unloaded.

I don’t like it when DH or the DCs come in and plonk their gym bag/school bags on the dining table. But I don’t say anything as it is my problem and I wouldn’t want to make them feel uncomfortable in their own homes.

For me, it stems from growing up in an overcrowded home. Everything had to be pretty spot on or chaos could quickly ensue. I have to remind myself that I can live a more relaxed life. But basic hygiene is still important.

I think I would draw the line at wiping down my shoes though.

Agree with @UneAnneeSansLumiere

Nope. Not sure where you live but there’s no ‘puke, piss and old pizzas’ on my pavements! I’m not saying they are clean but its not like I’m eating off my floors. We do tend to wear slippers indoors but I don’t have any sort of ‘shoes off’ policy. I’ve certainly never known anyone who wiped the soles of their shoes clean whenever they come inside, and I do know some fairly clean obsessives.

Clearly the friends I keep company with are very similar to me. I would find it incredibly rude to not follow the hosts lead in their house. If they are a shoes on household, keep your shoes on. If they are a shoes off household, take your shoes off. Anything else is just rude.

We are a no shoes household for these reasons and I also wouldn't put my handbag down on a street floor, train floor or public toilet floor. I wouldn't mind plastic carrier or shopper bags through in these places.

Oh and suitcases straight on a bed is rank. If I have to put one on a bed, I put a towel down first to cover the bed. Towel can then be washed.

But this is because I do enough housework/ washing. Why on earth would I risk making bedding dirty when it’s a faff to change?