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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To report ex to HMRC?

4 replies

DrivingMyselfUpTheWall123 · 04/01/2026 14:22

One of two things is currently happening and I need some perspective on if I’m being petty here!

Either my ex (we share 2 pre-teens) is working cash in hand and not declaring to HMRC and receiving benefits by claiming only working 16 hours a week PAYE (he has other children and a partner who isn’t working), or is choosing to not tell me about the additional work so that maintenance is only based off of 16 hours. CSA aren’t involved, maintenance has been agreed between us for a number of years but was always based on the online calculators. He’d always worked full time up until about a year ago when all of a sudden left his long term job to work part time elsewhere. Of course, there could be circumstances I don’t know about, But the additional work outside the 16 hours has been 100% confirmed to be true.

I’m in a fortunate position that I don’t rely on the money anymore - it goes straight into the kids savings accounts. But they could have significantly more savings if he was truthful.

Would I be unreasonable to take the nuclear option and report this? There is no talking to him - if I mention it, he will make things hell. Or other suggestions on what I should do - if anything?

OP posts:
NeverDropYourMooncup · 04/01/2026 14:27

I'm wondering how likely maintenance would be to arrive without having to go through CMS if he were to be hit with the taxman (and possibly IC) acting on it.

After all, if they are in receipt of UC, that'll be stopped for the investigation and if he is committing fraud on that and/or in tax and National Insurance, HMRC will take any money left towards debt and penalties before you get a look in. And it is possible that he could lose his actual job, depending upon what it is.

Not saying don't do it, but be aware that there could be repercussions that you may not have considered.

HereToo · 04/01/2026 14:36

I'd leave it be.

You don't need the money but his partner and kids probably do.

Doesn't make it right if he is on the fiddle but I wouldn't want to be responsible for possibly driving his innocent kids into poverty.

DrivingMyselfUpTheWall123 · 04/01/2026 17:41

All things I hadn’t considered - thank you!

OP posts:
Bedroomdilemmas113 · 04/01/2026 18:00

Go ahead, nothing will happen. I’ve reported my ex for the same many times. HMRC don’t have the resources unfortunately

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