Mother in Law

[Differentforgirls]

Does anyone like theirs? Or any of your in laws?

I do. I love her. And I similarly love my two SILs, my three BILs and my son’s partner who I consider my DIL even though they’re not married (been together 15 years since they were 15).

I understand people’s problem with theirs but it would be good to hear from
people who have good relationships with in laws. 😊

AIBU to want to hear the good relationships?

I met my MIL when I was 17 so I knew her a long time - while we were very different and didn't have a lot in common, I admired her in lots of ways. She was older than my parents, a different generation to me and an 'old-fashioned' wife and mother who deferred to her husband in everything (quite different from my parents!) But she was a lovely Grandmother and was kind to me, especially when I was quite ill with PND after my 2nd baby. As we grew older, we definitely became closer and I felt quite protective of her after she was widowed and struggled with being alone. Her sons all loved her but they were used to being more looked after by her than looking after her. When she came to stay, it was me who bought pretty bed linen and put fresh flowers, nice biscuits and magazines in her guest room, bought the foods she liked and cooked her meals that I knew she'd enjoy. It was me who bought her new nightwear and treats when she had a hospital stay. I feel lucky that we had a good relationship and I really do miss her now she's no longer with us 😔

My adult sons do this with my mum too 😊 it's lovely, it really makes her day when they pop in for a cuppa or to take her out for lunch!

You’re welcome. I’m a mum of boys too as is my MIL. She has four and they all adore her 🥰.

Mines isn’t perfect either but I truly love her. We became friends as soon as I met her and we have had a great friendship for 43 years.

You have your memories though 😊

Another thing. People on here say that thing about “a son is a son until he gets a wife.” MIL has 4, I have 2, SIL1 has 4 and SIL2 has 1. I have two brothers and don’t have a sister.My Aunty has 3. Every one of the “sons” love their parents and couldn’t do enough for us. So never be disappointed if you’re having a son.

My MIL (now 85) is lovely. I haven’t always found her easy to get on with as we are very different as people. But she has a heart of gold and I’ve come to appreciate her so much now. She’s also a very loving Grandma to our 2 DDs (16 and 13).

Very sadly, she now has vascular dementia.

I absolutely loved my MIL when she was alive. I get in brilliantly with BILs and SILs. My absolute favourite though is FIL, we get on like a house on fire. I will be devastated when he goes. Funny, kind, cheeky he is the best

My FIL was an amazing man. I miss him x

He gave me away at my wedding to his son too x

❤️

Mines not too bad, she’s always been good to me, did tonnes of babysitting when DC were small, but as she’s got older it pisses me off no end that she treats all her 8 grandchildren differently. And my two are treated 100 vs 1, she gives obvious preference to boys. I get treated 98, it’s very difficult to unconditionally love her when she doesn’t unconditionally treat both my kids the same.

I loved mine. I cried when she relocated to another country with ex DH’s Dad, she was such a support to me and I thought we were close. Then ex H and I split because of horrendous cheating and abuse on his part and it was a though MIL and I had never known each other. She and FIL and ex H banded together and waged war on me, absolutely destroyed my character and reputation to anyone who would listen, bullied me whenever they got the chance. Made an already awful situation so much worse than it needed to be. One of my children still sees them but the other rarely bothers. She saw it all going on and has no time for her grandparents now. They try hard to build bridges with her but she isn’t interested 🤷🏼‍♀️

I’m not keen on my in laws, I know that’s not what you asked.

But what I did want to say is that I believe that a lot of in law problems are actually caused by the husbands.

Its more often than not all to do with the dynamics and roles we all play and the expectations of the dil and the pil.

Too often, men just act like bystanders in their own lives and they’re too weak to speak up or set boundaries.

Women always end up getting the blame, a controlling wife or mil when actually, if the son/husband actually communicated and stepped in then a lot of issues can be resolved early on before they escalate.

My mum is a nice MIL to my sister in law!

I’m so sorry to hear that 😢

Adore mine! When my younger brother died, she flew down from Edinburgh for 4 hours just so she could be with us and my family at the funeral and help with the baby (husband was a pallbearer and I was a wreck, baby was 9 months). We didn’t ask her, she just did it. No drama, no fuss, just love.

My MIL passed away a few years ago and I really miss her. She was a gem. The perfect balance of involved with us and our DCs and never judging or questioning our choices. I was closer to her than I am to my own DM.

I really like my BIL too. He is funny and easy to get along with. His DW (SIL) was hard to get along with when had young DCs. They had already had their DCs and she was VERY opinionated about anyone who didn’t parent exactly the way she did. She’s a bit nicer now the DCs are adults and I have warmed to her. She can still be judgy but I’m much more able to hold my own than I was back then so we rub along ok.

I agree with that though I haven’t experienced it. My husband goes to his mum’s house with or without me and takes her out just the two of them sometimes or with me or all four of us. My SIL and I take her out with just us three or we include both our sons gfs.

I have a friend however that needs to be the number one in her son’s life so, even though I love her, I can see why her son’s partner gets irritated by her.

That’s lovely.

Love mine. Both of them. Exceptionally loving and generous people and if I could I would chosen to have them as in-laws! I’m lucky that I have an amazing set of parents who live 4 minutes away and amazing in-laws about 3 minutes away!

My MIL was a lovely lady and is very sadly missed

I don't get on with my mil. She is one of the most awful people I've ever met.
Her mum though and some of hers sisters are absolutely lovely.
We get on well and my dts love them, we have really healthy enjoyable relationships and i genuinely value them being in our lives.
Dts call mil horrible grandma because they have seen how toxic she is. They go out of their way to text the aunts and Nan though and see them when they can.

I adore my mother in law! She is one of the best people I know, in so many ways - kind, fun, wise, a good laugh. She always seems to know the right way to handle all situations.

My sister in law (DH’s sister) is also wonderful, as is my sister’s DH. I had one rubbish BIL, but my sister saw sense and divorced him.

Love my MIL. Kind, loving and great fun.