To keep track in 2026…

[Toomuchnegativity]

Of all the negative things my partner says vs the positive. And where do I draw the line between stating an opinion and being negative - or is there no clear line?

I’ll give some examples:

I very rarely cook family meals because of the comments he makes or doesn’t make (he only wants a roast). I’m not a great cook but I try. Last year I tried Hello Fresh, one meal was too salty, one he said the recipe was wrong, their roast wasn’t a proper roast etc.

Over Christmas he has had nearly 2 weeks off, I have been working, He complains he hasn’t been able to do anything. I’ve booked us two events, one was too late and too cold, the other is today and he’s been worrying about the weather forecast for over week. Plus he doesn’t know what to wear because it will be indoors and outdoors, he’ll get too hot. Also, we went to his parents for Christmas dinner, he didn’t like that either.

Yesterday he laughed at me because I was trying to sort out the toy cupboards to get all the Christmas presents in and he said only I could spend 2 hours tidying and make it messier (I carried on after that to finish it).

And then our sex life is almost non-existent, he makes jokes about the size of my bottom, he complains I’m too hairy, he complains I don’t like my boobs touched (not since kids), he complains I’ve changed and I’m not spontaneous anymore.

I just keep carrying on, trying to let the words roll off my back. I don’t think he means to be so mean, and I wonder if I keep a list to show him whether it might help?

YABU - to make a list
YANBU to make a list

I haven’t voted yet, OP, as I don’t know if making a list is petty or useful.
I guess if you’re considering a divorce it’s a good idea as you’ll know more precisely what you’re living with. If I were you I’d certainly be unhappy with his behaviour - where’s the sensitivity, support, thoughtfulness?
If you do make a list & decide to stay with him, what will you do with it? What would you expect his reaction to be? Presumably you will be too sensitive / neurotic / obsessed with finding fault with him?? And then what - another reason for him to find fault with you?
The more I think about this, the less I like him!

Thank you. I don’t want to leave him, I’d like him to understand how his behaviour affects me.

He understands. I mean, I'm sure you raised this before, right? If you did, then he knows exactly how it affects you. He heard you the first time. He just doesn't care.

If you never raised it with him, then do. No need for a list.