In feeling sadness for my friend and coworker after seeing her share a memory from 5 years ago with her and her BF?

[PixieDust91]

So my friend, Jess, has been a good friend of mine and ex co-worker since 2016. I changed companies a few years ago, but when we worked together, we shared everything. We were "work besties." She was dating a man way back then that she was really hoping would ask her to marry him at any moment. He moved in with her and her daughter from an ex marriage, and he was living with them for a couple of years before covid years. She was so hopeful that this Christmas, or this New Years, or this holiday, he would pop the question. But the question never came.

I have not spoken to Jess in a while, but she just re-shared a memory from 4-5 years ago with her and the same man, and I just couldn't help but feel sorry for her. I know how much she wants to be this fool's wife, even after all these years.

I guess I am feeling this way as well because I ended a 3 year relationship with my ex because he was dragging his feet on getting wed as well. I also never liked the man Jess is with. After hearing that he was living with her and her little girl (daughter was like 1 or 2 years old att. and now is 12ish), and not asking her to marry him knowing full well that she would love to say yes, just made me hate his guts.

She could ask him to marry her, if it's so important to her. Do you know if they ever discussed marriage? You had the courage to end a relationship which wasn't progressing how you wanted but she doesn't seem to be able to.

Is he financially better off than your friend? If so, he probably wouldn't want to get married if it hasn't happened by now.

Why on earth is she sitting ba l and waiting for it then it is in her control to either arrange the wedding with him and if he really doesn't want to get married then move on from him

This sitting around like a puppy women do for about of a bit of attention is the issue

Bit if she is genuinely happy with her life whose business is it of anyone else's to judge her or in fact him just because her life is not what others would do

Gosh what a load of projection going on here!

You say you haven't spoken to Jess in a while so you have no clue how she feels about her relationship now. If she is still with him and isn't married she has either made her peace with that or is an idiot stupidly expecting change. Either way, this is on her as she has chosen to stay.

Hating the guts of a man that someone you haven't spoken to in a while is in a relationship with because he doesn't want the same as she wants and it isn't a make or break issue for her? Yes that's unreasonable of you. And slightly unhinged

They don't have kids together so no reason to marry......he may have more assets. In which case he'd be an absolute idiot to marry and potentially lose half of what he has. Marriage isn't just about love, it's about finances and people should look fully into all the ramifications before tying themselves up in it !

Utterly bizarre.

I think you're mad because of your situation, and the difficult decision you've been forced to make by your ex partner, but Jess is her own person making her own choices/mistakes.
You could reach out to her if you still want to be friends but other than that it's not really anything to do with you anymore. Yuo don't really know the relationship, why they aren't married, etc.

You hate him just because he’s not champing at the bit to take on financial responsibility for a single mum and her child (that’s not his)? Okay then.