How many people are on your farewell list?

[Ohgjkht8]

Currently awaiting results for a biopsy and thinking about what would I have on my farewell list. Yes, I appreciate that this is particularly morbid. Am mid-40s and have so far included 14 people exc family. How many would be on yours?

I don't know what a farewell list is.

All the best for your results. I hope all is well

Excluding family? Not many I’d actually prioritise seeing if I was dying. Maybe 10?

Why AIBU?

Like two people? I wouldn’t have a farewell list, I would just go quietly I think but I’m that type of person. Hope all is well op.

Ah ok. None. I've told all of my friends and family to get on with their lives. No hospital visits, no funeral, no mourning.

AIBU was whether or not that's too small a number. I appreciate that this probably makes no sense to anyone else. It's just weird that if I had to tie things up, there are only 14 people that are close to me and to whom I would have to reach out and let them know.

Assuming youre Ill im very sorry and wish you all the best.

op good luck with your results, hopefully you dont need the list but family would be priority and a handful of close friends

My dad my kids my cats i cant think of anyone else who would want to say goodbye tbh well maybe one friend but she is fragile so I would skip her in person for her own sake

Don't really understand what a farewell list is - if it's who is invited to the funeral - that's up to surviving family and what they can cope with. If it is about who I'd want to see before dying - quite a lot of people - about 20-30 friends from the course of a lifetime and most of my family, as well as some long standing colleagues and clients who I really like and get on with.

I 100% agree with this. No fuss, please.

Op to have 14 people outside of your family truly love you is amazing in my opinion. I wish you all the best.

I guess the people who I would reach out to and let them know that I won't have long. Not sure that I want fuss but I would certainly feel bad not letting them know directly.

I'm very sorry you are in the position of contemplating a terminal result from your tests OP.

I've never heard of a farewell list . And certainly if I was in your position the only person I would be discussing things with would be my son - he would be the only person it would really affect. I can't even begin to think about saying farewell to anyone else.

I still don't understand what a 'farewell list' is either. People you make a point of seeing before you die? People you tell you have a terminal diagnosis? Funeral invitees?

Best wishes for your biopsy results, OP.

Having seen how other people I care about dealt with it and how it impacted those around them I’d announce it on my linked in never mind my Facebook and let my mum do her jungle drums. I wouldnt want to see all the people but I’ve watched others find not knowing very hard when their friends just withdrew and they didn’t learn why until after they sadly passed away. I would make sure not to tell my in laws though in case they came at me with crap advice so I’d have to swear everyone else to secrecy.
In all seriousness OP, whatever you do will be right. I hope your results go well and I’m thinking of you. All the best x

That’s what you choose to say? 🙄

Hope all goes ok op, not too sure what a farewell list is

I read this fast as ‘no haunting’. I had to go back and re read.

My darling friend told her close friends she had years left. She actually had weeks. I don’t think she wanted a big fuss. Glad I got to tell her that I love her. Miss her every day. I hope your news is better op 🤞🤞🤞

Slightly different but there are 17 people on the list for my dsis to contact if organising my funeral. That's apart from family.

I've never heard the term 'farewell list'.
My experience is that you don't have to tell many people.
If you want people to know, you tell someone and ask them to tell X, Y, and Z.
If you want the news to get out, it can cascade out quite quickly.

You tell your Line Manager, and ask them to share it with the team.
You tell your Mum and ask her to tell the family.
You tell one friend and ask her to let A, B, C and D know
You tell someone at your hobby and ask them to let the others know.
If you have dc, then you get your partner to let the schools know.

If this is a question about how many people would want to come to your funeral should the worst happen, I think you'd be surprised. When someone dies very young, a lot of people tend to make the effort to come.

But, if that is what you are asking, I've got a lot more than 14 people just in terms of family, before you get on to others who would need to know, or who would want to come to celebrate my life.

HOWEVER
I hope your biopsy result is good news when it comes and this is just a late night, theoretical musing.
It is a time you tend to think of the 'what ifs...'

I think its important to tell people but I have never been in your position OP. My dear friend who is terminally ill often feels guilty and ends up comforting family members who get upset around her. I think that's terribly unfair but probably common so i can see why it's easier to stay quiet. However on the flip side I know someone who didn't tell a close friend, and that friend was very upset when she learned and felt she had somehow wronged the deceased.

What IS a farewell list? I do have a terminal illness (I’m ok at the moment) but am wondering if I need one.