To think that meeting a man’s mum is overrated and no longer the “honour” people make it out to be?

[ThatQuickLimePombear]

There’s this idea that once a guy introduces you to his mum, it’s some major milestone but I’ve seen too many cases where the mum wasn’t particularly warm, kind or even worth impressing. Sometimes it feels like women are expected to win over his mum, even when she doesn’t extend the same grace. Why is it still treated as such a big deal?

YABU. It was never an honour. I met all my medium to long term boyfriend’s mums , without expectations of a wedding in the offing, and I never felt I had to win them over.
My parents met many of my boyfriends, very casually. It’s not a big deal.

What a weird question.

Was it ever a big deal? Not to me.

The problem lies when we just think it’s a normal introduction and no big deal and OH and mother think you should be trying to impress. It’s a mismatch of expectation that causes problems.

Is it a big deal? I met my MIL when I went to her house, probably been dating a few weeks. We were both young and living at home with parents so we met each others families early on. Don't think either of us thought it was a big deal!

Where did you get the impression it was a big deal? What a weird thing to think!

It’s not a big deal in the way you’re describing it, but it’s more of a ‘this is an actual relationship’. And not just for men bringing OHs to meet their mothers, the other way round too.

Of course it isn't an "honour," what are you on about, it is nice to meet boyfriends and usually the relationship is a bit more serious but hardly an honour.

My dds get on very well with their MiLs i don't they did anything in particular to "impress" them.

Certainly wasn't an honour to meet my MIL.

It’s nice to meet boyfriends’ family and friends but not particularly an honour.

My MIL is the most two-faced person I’ve ever met so certainly no honour there

When you're in your late 40s, and both out of long marriages, it feels an honour to meet his mum in her 80s.

She was chuffed to meet the woman who restored her son's happiness, and it meant the world to her that her son had met someone who he wanted to introduce to her.

It took over a year of us dating for it to happen, as she lives in another country, so felt big

I have never known it to be a big deal or an honour why would it be?

I think you need to look up "honour" in a dictionary.

I’ve never seen it as an honor just a next step in seriousness whether it’s me meeting their parents or vice versa.

I don't think it's a big deal to meet the bf mum. However one of my criteria for a nice bloke is they have a nice mother. Would hate to have been the DIL of a MIL that I don't get on with (mine was wonderful), and IME it's usually/nearly always the case that a kind mother has a kind son.

I have never wanted to meet my boyfriends' families. My last one, almost 10 years together, never met anyone, and it was bliss.
We met each other's friends though, that's enough for me.

My DH lived with his mother, so it wasn't really any different than him bringing a friend home. I went to his place, his mother happened to be there, it was very casual.

When I went to visit his grandmother my mother seemed to think it was a big deal. "Meeting the grandmother? It must be serious!" I just thought I was accompanying him on a visit, not having a big introduction.