To not interfear with ex's parenting

[Sprogonthetyne]

Ex is due to have DC tomorrow. It snowed a lot today, and there's a few inches of snow that is likely to still be there tomorrow. They are apparently going to the park (according to DS).

Our general arrangement is that both parents should provide what the kids need while with them, and I've been consistent for the last 3 months that i won't be sending a bag. However I also very much doubt ex has things like hats, gloves, wellies or waterproofs, that I would put the kids in for snow play. Normally they go to contact in trainers, trousers, t-shirt, jumper & coat, which would be fine for a quick park trip, but they would get wet and need to change after, and I'm not sure if ex has spare cloths yet (so far they haven't needed to change while with him). I have not been asked to lend anything.

Should I say something or leave ex to finger it out?

How old are your children OP?

I think it’s one where it sounds like the children would be more impacted than anyone else, so I would send it but ask it is returned the same day. Even if wet! (Assuming they aren’t staying away for the night).

If you are dressing them to go outside tomorrow surely you would dress them appropriately for the weather?

Id be tginking of the children and sending the cold weather stuff. Or, even, ask him "have you got hats/gloves/wellies?'"

I’d not make a big deal about it and dress them appropriately. Don’t let them suffer in case he potentially doesn’t have the right stuff.

Some things having two of doesn’t make sense. I would wrap them up in the bits when they go out (and make sure they come back at the end)

Obviously they will be wearing a coat either way, but how I'd dress them for the journey to ex's, is different to how I'd dress them if I was planning an outside activity in the snow.

I haven't been told by ex that they will be going out, I only know because DC mentioned it (so could easily not know)

Should I raise the question of if he has spare cloths? Kids tend to get wet playing in snow, no matter how well wrapped up they are, so will want to get changed once they get back to his.

usually I would say leave ex to sort it but think this is a case of being the better person,
especially because Dc have told you they might be going to the park so they’ll know you didn’t pack the right stuff.
can you leave a note to ask if wellies/hats etc could be returned as they’ll be needed next week for school?

Just do what's actually best for the kids.

Ew at ‘finger it out’ 😂

Sometimes interfering is necessary. Like now.

If you are in the UK we don’t exactly get a lot of snow so I’d message him and ask if he’s got snow stuff or if he wants you to send it. I wouldn’t not offer out of spite when it would negatively impact your kids. If he declines your offer then leave him to it. I understand it with general clothing etc but when it’s for more unusual weather etc just work together

If you really think he will leave them naked or sat in soaking freezing clothes then yes, offer, as it’s only your kids that matter.

He’s an adult with children. He should know what to do, and if not the children will soon tell him they’re cold and want to go home. You don’t even know if these plans are certain. Let him get on with it, he will figure it out. It’s the only way to learn. I wasn’t given a manual on how to raise children, you just work it out by doing it. If someone did everything for me, how would I have learnt? Yes I’ve forgotten things sometimes, it’s not the end of the world and my children weren’t in danger. I once forgot a changing bag/food/milk etc. I just got things when I was out.

Send a message saying “can I check that you’ve got x,y and z for this cold weather? because if not I can send some with DD”