Well my Dad towards my mum. I’ll try and be brief. My Dad I suspect has some level of personality disorder - elements of narcissistic, possibly an element of ND and is generally a controlling person. The brunt of this was always born in private at home and as a result, as a highly sensitive and empathetic child, I have a very damaged nervous system from living with the moods, temper and general vibe at home. My Dad has always aimed most of his behaviour at my mum - belittling her, being verbally and emotionally abusive, increasingly dictating what they do and when. He almost has this manic side to him where he wants everything doing today - it’s just a terribly uptight way of living. To everyone else, he’s this wonderful man. He does indeed have a lovely side which we have all enjoyed over the years, but this doesn’t diminish the abuse. To be clear, the abuse has never been aimed at me, just my mum.
anyway, my mum is now living with early dementia. The abuse has escalated and neither of them are coping living together. I’ve told my mum (for years) to leave him and to come and live near me. She hasn’t and now won’t be able to.
I find this whole situation horrible. I have two children (one with additional needs), a stressful job, a chronic health condition and a husband who is absent frequently. As an adult, I find it so hard to denounce my Dad, though I have tried to explain to him how he comes across in reasonable moments. They’re in their 70s and I just think this is getting, and going to get worse and worse. Has anyone faced the same? What is my responsibility here? What did you do?