Cancelling plan due to illness

[User28884995]

We were due to have a family meal today with some family members as a Christmas get together, I woke up with no voice and feeling a bit coldy but able to go out and function. I was worried about turning up to a meal with no voice and them having young children.

If you have a cold/lost voice kind of thing would you just have gone along or would you message to cancel or ask if they were ok with this and go if feeling ok to?

My husband messaged to cancel then I messaged to say I can go as long as they are ok with that but the plan had already been rearranged at that point.

Ultimately I was worried about not wanting to turn up with a cold and no voice and then if this passed onto to them being the cause of that. If someone turned up and was sat near my little one with no voice and a cold I would feel uncomfortable about that.

You did the right thing. This house has been suffering since the 8th December with the flu-ey bug and it hasn't fully gone yet.

Caught when a relative turned up with two ill children they then passed around to assorted relatives so that they could drink so took out several families with it

we dont all get that luxury

I would be so cross if someone turned up to visit sick. Best to cancel and not spread your germs.

We had someone drop out of Christmas day plans due to being ill. We were all very grateful they didn't get us sick and we bought them an extra present as a "thank you/sorry you missed out" thing.

I think you’ve done the right thing cancelling as some very nasty bugs start like that. Hopefully that’s not what you’ve got but very difficult to tell on day one.

Actually I find it tedious when people cancel at the drop of a hat when they have a slight cold. It feels like an excuse. Obviously if they are too ill to be out and about then they wouldn't come anyway.
I work in an office with hundreds of people; I have kids at primary school (and caught neither of their Christmas colds despite obviously being in close proximity); I use public transport/visit bars and pubs etc. If I catch something I catch something.

If it was a stomach bug, def stay away. A cold wouldn’t bother me so much. Some people sound very cold phobic. Those of us in public services would have no social contact from October to March if we hibernated if we had a sniffle.

I would have preferred you to cancel, so in my opinion you did the right thing. You have no idea what's causing your lack of voice, and your cold might not just be a cold for someone else. Biased because I'm on my fourth week of pneumonia after talking to someone at a social event who 'just came down with something this morning'.

I'm still ill after going to meal out on 20 December. Sat next to someone with stinking cold, who really shouldn't have been there. My Christmas and NewYear spoilt due to their selfishness. You did the right thing.

I wouldn't see the point of attending a gathering if I had no voice, what are you supposed to do, sit there mute unable to join conversation? Or strain yourself to try and join in while everyone else tries to hear what you are whispering? Doesn't sound like fun to me tbh, I lose my voice at least once a year seemingly link to use of my inhaler, I'm not contagious and although I obviously still go to work and we adjust for the fact I can't really talk I don't go out socially, there's no point

TBH I would much rather people stay away while they are ill with "a bit of a cold" ,which is normally coughing and sneezing over everyone else! Surely arrangements can be re-scheduled for another time

Ok well just so you know if you "make the effort" to expose me to your gross school diseases then I think you're worse than someone who just gives me an honest punch in the face. It hurts less and there's no pretence that they're doing me a favour.

Gross school diseases 😂your comments are making more sense now

My whole point is that many of us are exposed to lots of different people so you could realistically catch something anywhere.

And I didn't catch what my kids had! Despite them breathing on my face on a regular basis

Normally I would agree with you but my sniffle before Christmas turned in to a nasty 2 weeks and counting illness with fatigue, raised temperature, horrid cough etc and now a chest infection.

I think turning up with germs is terrible behaviour, I hate it when people don't give you the chance to decide if you want you be exposed, I look after my nan and work as a therapist neither can be done with stinking cold. Cancelling or checking is the decent thing to do

The important thing here for a whether you have rearranged another time to get together? People are more understanding if you show enthusiasm to do it when you are feeling better.

I find it strange that some people are saying they would turn up to an event if they lost their voice! Firstly, you can't add anything to the conversation and would just be awkwardly sitting there silently spreading your germs, secondly there's a contagious bug going around which causes people to lose their voice, many of my friends and family have had it over the past few months. It's not just "a bit of a cold" as it can have a huge impact on some people's ability to work, it lasts about 4-6 days, my partner lost thousands because his voice is his work..

If they immediately changed plans and didn't say "oh don't worry about spreading your germs", they probably were politely agreeing you shouldn't go. They could have changed their minds when your husband messaged the second time, so I would assume they were happier to rearrange

So easy to see how illnesses spread when people have this kind of attitude.

You made the decision you made OP, there's no right or wrong answer. Hope you feel better soon.