Children and phones/consoles

[Emmashouse]

Wasn’t really sure what to title this, but I feel as though I’m fighting a losing battle.

I have two sons 10yo and 18yo. So have already been through navigating screens/mobile phones/games consoles.

But I feel as though since I went through it all with ds1 it’s all got much worse.

We got ds2 a games console for Christmas last year. I was reluctant but he loves it and it has been really good for his confidence as he plays with his friends. We have it downstairs in the lounge so that we can keep an eye on him.

We gave him one of our old phones when he went into year 6, mainly because he walks home. He’s not really that interested in the phone but inevitably he’s exchanged numbers with school friends.

Anyway on to my point. I have rules, so for example he has to come off his games console at 9pm on school nights and 10pm on weekends. He doesn’t go on it every day because he plays sports.

However most of his friends seem to be allowed to play until whatever time they like even on school nights. As regards the mobile phone lots of the friends are up until 3-4 in the morning, loads of them are on tik tok, Instagram, Snapchat. The WhatsApp groups are awful so I’ve just removed ds. They all watch things like Dexter (they are 10 and 11 years old).

All he parents are nice but I feel as though half of them have taken leave of their senses also ds feels I'm too strict because I have a few rules!

There are so many children at school with behaviour issues, being assessed for ADHD, they have anxiety. Not at all saying these things don’t exist but the lifestyle can’t be helping.

There are one or two parents who completely don’t allow any of these things but their children seem to be left out.

What’s best way to navigate it all?

I hear you OP. Some times I feel like we are the only parents who seem to enforce boundaries and rules. I have one friend who told me she’s do glad that we put curfews on the Xbox, and when to be home from parties, as it makes her job easier for her and she can avoid having to have that argument with her teen! Some parents hate saying no to their child.

STOP GIVING CHILDREN SMARTPHONES

My DS is just turned 10 and he has strict rules on screen time. He doesn’t have any gaming Mon-Thurs, and he doesn’t have time to be honest as his weeknights are filled with sports clubs.

He is allowed an hour of iPad or Switch on Fri-Sun, sometimes this turns into more than an hour as he has a few friends he might play Roblox on a joint FaceTime call with and I sometimes let him extend it if they’re stuck in. Other weekend days he has less than an hour if we’re really busy or if he loses game time due to bad behaviour.

No phone, and he will have a dumb phone for Year 7.

Some of his friends do seem to play a lot, but others in his class have never played Roblox.

It’s hard when your DC is in the minority, but stick to what you think is appropriate and it doesn’t matter what others are doing. Things have changed since your DS1 was younger and I feel society is becoming so much more aware of the damage smartphones and social media can do to kids.