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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Nephew issues

33 replies

mrsh2025 · 02/01/2026 14:44

I am probably just tired but feeling so blooming fed up today, my pollock of a husband (I say lighthearted because he has the heart of gold and will always help his family)decided to guarantor his nephew. January last year nephew stopped paying his rent, between us we covered about 12k and eventually he’s ended up moving in with us. I know it’s saved us money BUT I’m blooming exhausted it’s been 5 months and he won’t work, doesn’t help out sends money to his girlfriend but not towards food shopping. I
work long and odd hours and he never leaves the house so even a shower is harder work because he’s always here and I guess I feel uncomfortable with it. I worked till 4am New Year’s Day and got back up for other job at 7 and couldn’t sleep because he was on the phone and playing his stupid rumbling games on his pc, I am normally such an upbeat person and it is so getting me down. I feel I can’t talk to my husband about it as I know he’s already stressed by it and has loyalty to his family.

I guess I’m almost at the stage that I am considering moving out till he’s gone but I don’t want to lose my marriage because of someone that I’d quite happily never see again… any advice?

OP posts:
MissNowt · 02/01/2026 16:17

Dear me OP! 🤦🏼‍♀️For goodness sake you need to get a grip & stop being such a doormat.

I voted you are BU because you’re allowing this ridiculous situation to carry on.

DisforDarkChocolate · 02/01/2026 16:20

WTF! I'd divorce over this sort of idiocy.

How could you love someone who risk his families security like this.

mrsh2025 · 02/01/2026 16:29

Thank you all I am confident now I’m not being unreasonable will speak to OH in next couple days (he’s really poorly at mo so as tempting as it is I shall wait) luckily I have a flat I can go to so let’s see how it goes. Think I’ve been underplaying it

OP posts:
mrsh2025 · 02/01/2026 16:36

DisforDarkChocolate · 02/01/2026 16:20

WTF! I'd divorce over this sort of idiocy.

How could you love someone who risk his families security like this.

my husband and I were married years ago and we got back together last year. He made this choice as an at the time “single person” on paper which he admits he regrets… divorce seems a little extreme I just meant move out till nephews left…

OP posts:
mrsh2025 · 02/01/2026 16:37

right big girl pants are going on tomorrow will update

OP posts:
MeridianB · 02/01/2026 16:47

He’s sending money to his GF in another country but can’t repay the £12k debt he owes you?

30yo man baby needs to move out now. Your DH is nuts. His first loyalty is to you!

MightyDandelionEsq · 02/01/2026 16:47

mrsh2025 · 02/01/2026 15:11

Because I love my husband and we are a team usually he made the daft mistake of supporting him and I’ve helped but I think yes maybe I’ve been a mug with it

You’re not a team if he’s disregarding your feelings and expecting you to finance an absolute loser of a grown man (the nephew).

You need a blunt conversation. 12k is not change and clearly the nephew is rinsing you all for what he can get. Middle Eastern gf he sends money to sounds like a scam artist also.

1987qwerty · 04/01/2026 22:10

What was the outcome OP?

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