Using pet names for kids

[Mamma2234]

TLDR: Parent using my pet name for my child.

My parents have never used pet names for me or my siblings, not have they ever used them for my older child or my baby. They don’t see my kids loads because of distance - my baby they have met a handful of times. We video call a little but not often. I have a distant relationship with them and saw them over Xmas.

I have a few pet names for my kids, mostly for the baby when I feel sweet on her, like darling, sweetheart, honey - I don’t give it any thought, they just come out. DH doesn’t use them so I’m a bit oblivious to it. On a video call with my Dad recently, out of nowhere he started using one of my pet names with my baby. He used it several times in a row, like he was road testing it.

I can’t explain how weird and jarring and alien it sounded. He comes from a different country, culture, language so he would not have been exposed to this pet name growing up. Then in his 70s to start using a pet name, also my pet name, I feel very uncomfortable with. If he’d used a pet name from his language - there are some lovely ones - I wouldn’t have minded.

I do realise I don’t own any pet names! I think he’s probably heard me use it and being very sweet on the baby he want to use it too. I just wanted to post to get some feedback and try to get over it! Maybe it’s because pet names can be a bit icky and this one is especially sugary and I like saying it but I don’t like hearing it, so I’m being quite a hypocrite. 😂 But I don’t think it’s just that. My older child is quite a bit older and doesn’t mind or question the pet names.

This post is half- humoured, please don’t take it too seriously!

I guess one way round it was to suggest my Dad uses a pet name from his own language, which would be quite nice.

I think if you're going to use pet names to him then it's not unreasonable for him to use them too (in his mind). The best way out of this is to only use her actual name when you're talking to him. He can hardly start calling her Sugar if you've just called her Jessica.

Darling, sweetheart and honey are not pet names. They are terms of endearment and you don't have monopoly on them.
My mum used to call me "Bunny" when I was small and "Rabbit" since I was a teen (and she still calls me that at 40+). I would think her mad of she got upset over my granny or grandad calling me sweetheart. They never called me Bunny, though and had a pet name of their own for me. But, again, none of the words you mentioned are pet names.

Lots of people used English terms of endearment despite not being English. I get called "Darling" by lots of people for whom English is very clearly not their first language.

This is an odd thing to be upset by.